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GORDON DANIELS

At his office, Look Park executive director Ray Ellerbrook goes over the park's budget.

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GORDON DANIELS

Executive director Ray Ellerbrook sits in his office at Look Park.

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GORDON DANIELS

Executive director Ray Ellerbrook sits in his office at in Look Park.

NORTHAMPTON - Ray Ellerbrook was so close. November would have marked five years since his first bout with colon cancer and all signs pointed to a celebration.

"All my blood tests were perfect," he said. "Everything was fine."

But the executive director of Frank Newhall Look Memorial Park got a cough in late summer that wouldn't go away. Chest X-rays taken in October confirmed his fears: The cancer was back and had spread to his stomach.

"Being that close, if you make it to the big one, the five-year mark, you at least know you've got some hope," he said. "But they're really just benchmarks - they don't mean much."

So Ellerbrook, 60, put his faith once again in the doctors at the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute and began chemotherapy treatments at Cooley Dickinson Hospital under the care of oncologist George Bowers.

"They've made great strides with colon cancer," said Ellerbrook. "They have a number of different drugs they didn't have before. It's every three weeks, an intravenous drip for three and a half hours. You bring a book," he said with a shrug.

The staff at Look Park, where Ellerbrook took over after 28 years as head of Northampton's Recreation Department, were not willing to shrug things off. Jilian Larkin, facilities manager of the Garden House at the park, said she and her colleagues were "really, really upset. But there is strength in numbers. We wanted to do something to give him some strength."

Larkin was very familiar with the Cancer Connection, the Florence nonprofit founded by Deb Orgera and the late Jackie Walker that provides a nurturing environment for people living with the disease, offering free therapies, advice on how to navigate the medical system and the wisdom of those who've fought the battle before.

Knowing that Cancer Connection's entire operating budget was funded through donations, Larkin wanted to create a fund in Ellerbrook's name. The idea quickly spread through the park by word of mouth.

"We decided that there'd be no more exchanging Christmas presents with each other, that all that money would go into the fund," said Larkin. "We tried to keep it a secret. Even the Park Rangers, who have the most contact with the public, kept things under wraps."

Collectively, Ellerbrook's colleagues raised $600. Earlier this month, Larkin presented a check to Cancer Connection's executive director, Betsy Neisner.

"They were hoping to do something special," said Neisner. "I wrote a letter to Ray. I knew he might want to maintain his privacy, but if he was willing to go public, people could continue to contribute to the fund."

Ellerbrook couldn't believe his ears. "I was quite overwhelmed, frankly," he said. Ellerbrook gave the green light to the project. The fund in his name was launched, the money used for support groups and complimentary therapies for men living with cancer, their families and caregivers.

"I'd love to see it grow," said Larkin. "The Ray Ellerbrook Fund for Men's Cancers. Just the sound of it - fabulous! I'm so glad that other men will benefit."

"We've always had good relations with Cancer Connection," said Ellerbrook, who spoke of the many events the organization runs at the park, including the Bill's Challenge road race. "They do such good work - something we'll continue as long as I'm here."

Neisner said that Cancer Connection is hammering out details for a relay fundraiser at Look Park in April, involving an adult tricycle race.

"People think cancer means depression and soft voices, but it doesn't have to be," said Neisner. "It can be fun."

Larkin hopes the fund will inspire Ellerbrook to take advantage of some of Cancer Connection's programs himself, something he has not done in the past.

"We gave him a schedule," said Larkin. "Wives can go, too. Even if he just goes down there for a massage. He's a great guy and a great leader. He's never down. You would never know what he was going through. None of us had any idea."

Adjusting to change

Ellerbrook played basketball for legendary University of Massachusetts coach Jack Leaman in the late 1960s and is a member of the UMass Athletic Hall of Fame for both basketball and baseball. But the exploits of the past matter not when dealing with cancer.

"I don't care who you are - you're facing death," he said. "I've had plenty of injuries and broken bones, but death has a finality to it."

As for the pain, Ellerbrook says it's all relative.

"There's some degree of pain in anything you do," said Ellerbrook, whose bad knees forced him to retire from refereeing basketball three years ago. "I kept a cooler in the front seat - no beer, just ice bags. I had to put ice bags on both knees just to be able to drive home."

Ellerbrook says his frame of mind is different than it was at the onset of his first battle with the disease.

"It was a shock that it came back, but not necessarily the death sentence shock of the first one. I know I can go through it again."

One adjustment many people battling cancer have to make is the loss of a full head of hair. Ellerbrook was no exception.

"I'm bald as a cue ball and always have to wear a hat," he said, laughing. "At first I was self-conscious: ¿Maybe if I don't touch it, it won't fall out.' Then one day I took a shower and hair was all over the place. I told my barber: ¿Gimme a real crewcut.' Pretty soon, it was: ¿Shave the whole thing.'"

"There are no guarantees," he said of his treatment. "I'm tired but still working."

Donations to the Ray Ellerbrook Fund for Men's Cancers may be sent to Cancer Connection, P.O. Box 60452, Florence, MA 01062.