By SUSAN KENNEDY MARX

AMHERST — All the community’s children are gifts who are shared with us, the adults in their daily lives, for a brief but uniquely formative time in their development. Each one is in our charge to be cared for, nurtured, respected and known.

As we learn from the recent tragic losses of young people in our community, we are called to look with fresh eyes at how we are holding and guiding our youth.

The coming school year offers us this opportunity.
Some of us are asking if we can we significantly decrease bullying behavior by focusing our work with schoolchildren on the development of a selected set of skills. Current national attention is riveted on three social-emotional areas of skill development that are very promising. We can predictably decrease acts of bullying and at the same time improve concentration, attention and empathy with these skills.

Effective decision-making, positive interpersonal behaviors and school performance are improved as well. Building on three identified components will likely prove highly beneficial. First we must pay attention to each student’s sense of belonging in school. Second, we need to be teaching a Social Emotional Learning curriculum (SEL) across the grades. Third, we should be routinely infusing mindful awareness into the school days of students.

I am one of many educators eagerly anticipating the new school year. For most children, the first day of kindergarten marks the official beginning to their K-12 education. Children who enter their kindergarten classroom next month at 5 years old will graduate in 2022.

I find myself asking: What will each need from the adults in their paths, this year and in each of the years that follows? How can they build on their initial curiosity for learning and be enjoying a group of friends?

It turns out that among the many possible answers is that each and every child will first need to feel a strong sense of belonging in her/his school.

Being known by one’s teacher and classmates supports a crucial sense of belonging. Connecting to others and gaining self-confidence supports a sense of belonging for each child as they enter an unfamiliar arena for new creative work and play.

Parents need to be welcomed by the school system as they build positive relationships with their child’s teachers. These relationships foster a sense of belonging and in the broader community form a necessary safety net for developing children from day one.

A West African greeting captures what I am suggesting. When two people meet, one will often say, “I see you” while the other responds, “I am here.” The holding of each individual within the community has great possibilities for new beginnings characterized by all children feeling engaged and acknowledged.

In 2010, children are often sensing significant stress. Children are witnessing worldwide natural and unnatural disasters at the same time that a deep economic recession has resulted in more parents having to work longer hours to ensure that the family’s basics are covered.

And in some of our communities’ families, inequities and visible disparities tied to race and class won’t allow our children even the basics of good nutrition and adequate housing.

So the world our students live in requires they understand themselves in relation to others, “a world of others.” Social Emotional Learning programs, like Second Step and Steps to Respect, help kids understand themselves and others with the goal of violence prevention.

Labeling feelings and identifying the mind and body states that anger and anxiety prompt, while looking closely at empathy and practicing resolving conflicts, are basics provided by the SEL programs. Taught by teachers and counselors, they are often woven into class meetings that set the tone for a reliably calm and productive classroom.

Nationally, it was recently noted that SEL programs are necessary building blocks of inclusive, respectful, safe school climates.
Important findings

This new school year is the time for our community to adapt an important set of findings from the medical field to education. Over 30 years, Jon Kabat-Zinn and Saki Santorelli have documented the positive impact of mindfulness over an enormous population of subjects. The basic elements of their program, called Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction, hold great promise for our children’s happiness, health and school performance. Their work at our own University of Massachusetts Medical School in Worcester is reaching into some of the most forward-thinking of our nation’s schools.

Mindfulness is a practice that includes focused awareness on the present with attention to calm breathing. Our capacities for focusing and attending are keenly honed in our conscious practice of awareness.

Practicing mindfulness results in a “can-do attitude,” increased focused concentration, improved impulse control and healthy decision-making. The balanced integration of the many “distractions” our children live with is an associated outcome of practicing mindfulness.

Recently, a 5-year-old who chose to use his calm breathing rather than express an impulsive response towards a friend on the playground thanked me for teaching him to be aware and take control of his momentary feeling. He said, “It was amazing. I was mad. I took three calm breaths and I felt the happiness tingle through my legs. I didn’t hit anyone and I am not even mad anymore!”

An older child reflecting on a similar experience asked if she should take more breaths than the little kids because she was taller and she wondered if the happy tingle might take a little longer to travel and calm her down!

It works. Our youngest, in all their wisdom, tell us so!

All our children benefit emotionally and academically from knowing they belong in our school communities Programs like Second Step and Steps to Respect help parents, teachers and kids develop a common language. Our children will benefit individually and together from embodying the practice of attending and calm breathing. Healthier friendships and improved school performance can result.

The challenge of bullying in our communities is a complex one. But one thing I know for certain. Simply put, the children of our community are our gifts and our promise.

Susan Kennedy Marx is assistant principal at Fort River Elementary School in Amherst and is visiting assistant professor at Mount Holyoke College. She says she works with other professionals for equitable, beneficial and socially just educational outcomes for all children.