I love North Carolina. I lived there for many years before moving to the Pioneer Valley in 1980. I have ridden my bike along the Blue Ridge Parkway, walked for hours along the Outer Banks, visited artists’ studios in Burnsville and Celo and hiked in the Great Smoky Mountains. And I hold degrees from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and Duke University in Durham.
I love North Carolina. That is why I convinced my family that we should all vacation this summer in Asheville, stay at the famous Biltmore Hotel, and enjoy the many delights found in the western part of the state.
We poured over calendars and maps, made a detailed plan for our two weeks together, called the Biltmore and reserved rooms. It was set, and I was very happy to be returning to my beloved North Carolina.
Then our family and the rest of the country learned of the transphobic legislation coming out of North Carolina, and Gov. Pat McCrory’s repressive policies. The North Carolina legislature passed a law that prevents transgender people from using bathrooms corresponding to the gender with which they identify — House Bill 2 (HR2).
Upon hearing this news, my heart sank. At first I tried to pretend that the actions of the North Carolina legislature and governor did not really affect our family — that we could vacation there while trying to look the other way. I did not admit to people that we going to vacation in North Carolina, but I also did not change our plans — even after famous people like Bruce Springsteen were cancelling trips to and performances in N.C.
Then we had a sad family meeting and realized that we may be only one family bringing a modest amount of vacation dollars into the state, but we really could not in good conscience vacation anywhere in North Carolina. Not this summer. Not until the governor changes his policies, his attitude, his laws and his ways.
I called the Biltmore with a heavy heart and told them to cancel our reservation. The woman on the phone said she was sorry that our “plans had changed” and that we would not be staying at the Biltmore. She did not ask why we were not coming. I told her anyway. I said our plans had not changed; we had intentionally changed our plans because as a family that struggles to be allies to members of the trans community, we could not vacation in a state that was overtly transphobic, unwelcoming and unsupportive to members of the trans community. The woman on the phone paused. Then she said, “The Biltmore welcomes everyone.”
“Tell your governor that,” I responded.
Hating every minute of the tedious task, we wrote a letter to Gov. McCrory stating exactly why we had cancelled our reservation at the Biltmore and changed our plans to vacation in his beautiful state. We enclosed the confirmation notice of our reservation the Biltmore had sent us, and the email cancellation materials they had also sent along.
In the letter, we said, “We have cancelled our plans to visit your state due to the transphobic policies you have promoted. As people of faith and people who believe that we are all part of one human family, we cannot in good conscience pump financial resources into a state that has passed oppressive laws that discriminate, exclude and hurt our beloved siblings.
We are appalled at the prejudicial and transphobic policies the state of North Carolina is promoting and defending, and we will not vacation in a state that is so profoundly, overtly, and painfully discriminatory.”
We wrote knowing the governor would probably never see the letter, not care about one family changing its vacation plans and disregard our point of view as misguided even if he knew about our decision.
But the letter was long and passionate just the same. We wrote, “There is an expression that a school, religious institution, state, nation, college, or any recognized body can be ‘on the wrong side of history.’ Your actions are on the wrong side of history and we will not be complicit with your misguided policies in any way.”
Our family is now searching for a place to go this summer that values, honors and protects our transgender siblings.
Our decision is a small witness and not a big sacrifice. In the larger scope of things, our change in vacation plans is not a big deal. But maybe as hundreds and thousands of people object to the transphobia that has gripped North Carolina and informs the governor’s office of how unacceptable their legislation is, maybe we will disturb their sleep.
We closed our letter to the governor with these words, “We trust that through debate, reflection, discernment, prayer and the pressure from countless groups, organizations, agencies, individuals, and sports teams, you will change your mind … and your heart.”
May it be so.
The Rev. Andrea Ayvazian, pastor of the Haydenville Congregational Church, writes a monthly column on faith, culture and politics. She can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.