I remember a discussion I had with a good friend after the 9/11 terror attacks about how the world would never be the same.
He argued with me — passionately — that that was not the case. I was a bit confused, but I didn’t push it because at the time because I realized that everyone was dealing with the tragedy differently. If he wanted to believe the world hadn’t changed, I was going to let him believe that.
What’s happening now is different from the 9/11 attacks, but I don’t think many will argue that the world will never be the same. And we are certainly seeing a wide range of reactions from Americans.
There are those who are taking precautions and isolating. Thank you.
There are those who are ignoring the recommendations for social isolation. The number of photos I see on Facebook of folks next to each other is driving me a little nuts.
And then there are those who are throwing themselves into their work. I get it. That’s what I did after 9/11. Work came first. At the time I was an editor at The Washington Post’s website. This was the biggest story of my career and I was going to work 18-hour days to help make sure the story was covered.
Working was also easy. It helped blur the reality of an uncertain world for my (then) two young children.
We live in culture that worships work. Think about it. When you ask someone “How’s it going?” what kind of response do you get 90% of the time? “Oh, I’m so busy at work” is the classic American answer.
I know I should have more patience now for all those bragging about how busy they are.
I don’t. I really don’t want to hear it.
Been there done that.
Unless you’re a health care worker, somehow thinking that working hard is going to help change anything is only perpetuating the great American myth.
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo was right when he said this crisis allows us to spend more time with family. Do that. Cook from scratch. Read. Walk. The great American ethos of work needs to be re-evaluated.
We’re moving to a simpler way of life. Measuring who has the largest workload is a yardstick that is quickly becoming meaningless.
I had the good fortune to visit France last summer. As I walked the streets of Paris those first few days, I could just feel a different vibe. Those in the city slept later, stayed up longer and enjoyed each other much more. I remember sitting in a café along the Seine with my son during one of our last nights there, thinking the Parisiens have it right.
Americans (including myself) have always defined themselves by how “busy” we are. This pandemic will leave the world changed, including the more profound ways of how we define ourselves. I don’t want to hear how busy you are. That’s not what I’m asking.
I recently stumbled across an article quoting Alaa Hijazi, a trauma psychologist from Beirut. She captured my ongoing frustration with the American focus on work and “being productive:”
This cultural obsession with [capitalistic] “productivity” and always spending time in a “productive” “fruitful” way is absolutely maddening.
What we need is more self compassion, more gentle acceptance of all the difficult emotions coming up for us now, more focus on gentle ways to soothe ourselves and our pain and the pain of loved ones around us, not a whipping by some random person making us feel worse about ourselves in the name of “motivation.”
Yes, I do want to know how you’re doing. So, tell me.
Steve Fox is a senior lecturer in the University of Massachusetts Journalism Department and is the director of the Sports Journalism concentration.