As a guest columnist, the Gazette grants me one essay per month. In the current, fast-paced, news cycle since Jan. 20, 2025, every time I come up with an essay theme, or even fully write a prospective essay, some new “thing” pops up on my radar that I feel I need to address and I’m back to the drawing-board.

Per the Trump Administration, as a transgender woman, I don’t exist: I am a man per the president’s first executive order. The thing of it is, even though I was born male, that is truly not who I am. I don’t view myself as a man. I don’t look or dress like a man. I don’t live my life as a man. I do not look at things in a typical, matter-of-fact, male fashion. Plus, my friends and acquaintances know me to be a woman, a transgender woman to be sure, but still a woman.

I came out as a transgender woman when my dad was 85 years old. Now, at 93, I continue to live with my dad, which can be incredibly challenging, but I want him to be able to live in his home as long as that is possible. All that said, he recognizes me as his transgender daughter, gets my name right nearly 100% of the time, although we’re not always quite at that level with the female pronouns as he is somewhat forgetful. Just the same, I know he loves me and supports me.

Recently, my dad viewed a network news story about Tufts University graduate student, Rumeysa Ozturk, here in the U.S. on a valid student visa, being rounded up by ICE officers. This occurred after she wrote a piece in her college newspaper supporting the Palestinians in their war against Israel — so much for freedom of speech in our “new” America. While I don’t intend to wade into the dangerous waters of a discussion of this highly polarizing conflict here, or in any essay, I will say my dad was very shook up by these events. In particular, he was worried that the administration would send agents to our home to round me up, as a transgender woman, and taken to God knows where, just like Ms. Ozturk. Believe me, it is something I have pondered more than once.

As I was at work, my dad worriedly asked my brother, as he dropped off a load of groceries, what he should do if someone came to the house to round me up. “Lock the doors,” was my brother’s response. Later, when I was home, my dad and I had a similar discussion. While I was touched that he was so concerned for my safety, I tried to allay his fears and tell him that I don’t think civilian trans people are his current target. I informed him that it is immigrants and universities that are in his cross-hairs at the moment. I also mentioned that I have given my safety a fair amount of consideration, should it come to a roundup of transgender Americans. I shared that I feel confident that I could find a safe harbor until this madness is over. This regime cannot last forever, especially given the qualifications of the people who are in charge.

This is obviously not the America I want to live in and I hate what this administration is doing to this country, its citizens, and to our loyal allies around the globe. I can never forgive this administration for these actions. I also can never forgive our leaders for causing my elderly dad to live with so much fear and sadness. The only “crime” my dad’s guilty of is caring about his transgender daughter and the abducted daughter of a man he’s never even met.

Mariel E. Addis is a native of Florence. She left the area for 16 years but returned in 2013.