In 2016, I told a woman I first met in 1987, and married five years later, that I would be transitioning to female. It had been a rocky nine years since I first came out, and, at the time we had been separated for nearly three years. In return, I was told that I would lose far more than I’d ever gain by transitioning to female.

Now, I like to think of myself as a reasonably intelligent and insightful person, but I have spent the last nine years trying to figure out exactly what my now ex-wife meant by her comment. Was it that I’d lose rights and privileges living as a woman, as a trans person, or the combination of both? Or was there something else that was not on my radar screen? In the more-of-less final analysis nine years out, I guess I still don’t comprehend exactly what was meant by my ex’s comment because, while I did sacrifice some things in my life, what I gained from my male-to-female journey far outweighs anything I have lost. All-in-all, I guess you could say I’m a satisfied “customer.” The one thing, however, I don’t think my ex could have ever imagined, when she made the statement above, is how scary this world would be nine years later, not just for women, not just for transgender people, but for all of us.

Now, I go about my days mostly focused on work, family and friends, and getting the most enjoyment I can out of this life I’ve been given. That said, three recent events have, as a trans woman, rocked my world. The first was Trump’s first executive order on sex and gender. The third was the recent firing of my trans brothers and sisters from the U.S. military. These, while upsetting, were easier to overcome because I considered the source: the Trump administration. It is the second event, a Supreme Court ruling in the UK, that upset me more than the other two and made me worry about the broader worldwide ramifications of that ruling on transgender people.

On April 16 of this year, the UK Supreme Court unanimously ruled that transgender women are not women, effectively banning transgender women like me from women-only spaces in the UK. This includes all women’s restrooms and locker rooms. The British government did say that transgender men and women still have rights, but having rights is not overly helpful when you just need to use the loo and there aren’t any you can reliably and safely use without outing yourself. Legally, as a transgender woman, I’m directed to use the men’s room, which, if I happened to be traveling in the UK, I’d refuse to do. Frankly, given my feminine appearance, I don’t think I’d ever have a problem using the women’s room. (As a side note, the court case was financed in large part by J.K. Rowling of Harry Potter fame. After the case was over, TERF Rowling was pictured in the media gloating and smoking a big fat cigar.)

This case, like all similar laws, proposed laws, and court cases are in large part due to bigotry and the misplaced fear among some cisgendered women and their defenders that transgender women are going to assault the cis-women in the women’s room. The truth of the matter is there have been no such reported assaults by true trans women. Cisgendered women are far more likely to be assaulted by another cisgendered woman in the restroom. Also, there are numerous instances of cisgendered men violating women’s privacy in women-only spaces by discretely installing cameras or creating peepholes in walls, but transgender women are the ones who get the bad rap yet don’t cause problems.

I have been using women’s restrooms for nine years now, and I have never had a bad experience with a cisgendered woman either running out of the restroom or creating a scene. Still, when I am in a large, busy, restroom, such as those at highway rest stops, I do get a bit anxious, although, again, I have never had a bad experience there either. I am respectful of the users of the rest room, do my business, and leave promptly.

Since transitioning, I have built a large support network of female friends, both cis- and transgender, who know me as a woman and have come to trust me with their most personal issues. I know that the majority would have no safety concerns going into a women’s room with me and many have done just that. I keep asking why the bigotry won’t stop to let transgender people live their lives in peace? We are truly not a threat to anyone.

Mariel E. Addis is a native of Florence. She left the area for 16 years but returned in 2013.