When you are raising a black child, no matter how much you prepare them, or yourself, for the ugliness they may face, it is impossible to know what it will feel like when an act of blatant racism happens — as it did recently.
My daughter, who is biracial (I am white), took a job this summer on a farm in Hadley. I warned her that she might be the only kid of color there, and that she might encounter bigotry. I didn’t want to prejudice her, but I was worried about the environment and wanted her to be prepared.
She was the only black kid there, and things went fine for a while until, as I’d predicted, racism reared its ugly head. One boy called another a “f***ing n-word” right in front of my daughter. Her first instinct was to go to girls nearby and tell them what happened.
They agreed it was wrong, and one of them told the boy he was out of line. But when my daughter went back and confronted him, she did so alone. A group of white kids, some old enough to act as supervisors, watched while my daughter defended herself and tried to explain why what the boy had said was wrong.
My daughter was so upset she walked off the job and never returned. Later that day, I called her boss. He apologized and said the boy who’d used the word, and who he said had used other, derogatory language towards other groups, would be fired.
It’s what the other kids did — or didn’t do — that still upsets me.
We need to teach our white children that it is their job to speak up when someone is committing an act of racism or expressing a racist view.
Being silent is being complicit. People of color should not have to bear the burden alone when they are targeted; my daughter should not have had to stand up for herself by herself.
Imagine if everyone there had spoken up at once, making it impossible for a comment like that to pass.
On a larger scale, this means white people should be standing alongside or in place of people of color against police brutality or other forms of racism. It’s far easier for us to take the risk; we have much less at stake emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
As for Hadley and other towns that may lack diversity or harbor intolerance, I ask that their residents address racism in their communities and in their schools, explicitly and consistently.
Teach your white children how to be allies. Groups in Amherst like Coming Together, the NAACP, or even the school system can provide resources and support. It isn’t that there’s no racism in Amherst, but when a community stands strongly against it, its power begins to diminish.
I was sorry to assume something like this could occur in Hadley, but unfortunately, I was right.
Kelly Norris lives in the Valley.