I spent election day as a poll observer in Dublin, New Hampshire. I noticed many grinning mothers and daughters emerge from the voting booths, reminding me of 2008 when I brought my 16-year old daughter to witness history being made.
I was sure all the mothers I saw in New Hampshire wanted their daughters to bear witness to the election of the first woman POTUS. From my vantage point as a white, educated, Jewish woman, I really believed that women were the surest bet on delivering a victory for Hillary Clinton.
Nearly two weeks later, I am still trying to figure out why 53 percent of white and 26 percent of Latina women voted for a misogynist candidate whose rhetoric and behavior should have made him a pariah, not a president. At times like this, its tempting to view these women as traitors to our perceived sisterhood. I am trying, however, to resist the temptation to paint female Trump supporters with a wide brush.
Much has been written about why women chose to exclude themselves from Pantsuit Nation. Like their male counterparts, many bought into Trump’s promise of change, believing that Democrats had failed them. Others don’t view the world through a gendered lens.
While many of us were horrified to see images of women Trump supporters exclaiming they would love to have him grab their “p—-,” for many women, catcalls, whistles, and being grabbed are just part of life, a nonissue.
Beverly Tatum speaks of how racism is in the very air we breathe. It’s the same with misogyny. We have been socialized to devalue ourselves as women. We have been socialized to embrace relationships, nurture others, and display emotion, yet these are the very traits that patriarchy uses to define women as weak and unfit to be president. Women learn these lessons too.
The irony is that when a woman, such as Hillary Clinton. displays independence, confidence, and an ability to withstand an avalanche of attacks, she is seen as cold, calculating, and deviant. I was raised with the notions that PMS or menopause made women too unstable to assume the presidency, that women are catty and can’t be trusted. Those lessons are hard to shed, and may have been reflected in the venomous disdain for Clinton expressed by female Trump supporters.
Many wonder how a woman could vote for a sexual predator, whose words and actions can only endanger women. “What kind of message are they giving their daughters, as well as their sons?” we ask.
The fear of being victimized and the scars of those who have been sexually abused can be hidden by denial and even a belief that women need men to protect them from other men. Some women who voted for Trump point out that Hillary Clinton stood by her man, Bill, in spite of his sexual transgressions.
Writer Arwa Mahdawi states, “We need to stop pretending that women in America are a homogenous group with the same privileges and priorities.” Women who are strongly pro-life may have based their vote against Clinton purely on one issue.
And, like their male counterparts, some just wanted change. Let’s not forget too, that there are women Republicans with strong party loyalty that supercedes gender.
Only 34 percent of non-college-educated women voted for Hillary Clinton. Was this segment of the electorate able to identify with this career-driven Wellesley graduate?
It seems audacious to imagine connecting with a self-promoting billionaire like Donald Trump, but he found a way to reach those who felt like outsiders. Though I doubt that he will ever deliver on his promises of restoring coal mines and steel mills, he said what people wanted to hear.
I have problems with the term, “white privilege.” It creates a myth that skin color gives all Caucasians a “pass.” I can certainly attest to the unearned privileges that race has bestowed upon me as a white woman, but it’s hard for me to think of a single mother, living below the poverty line as privileged, just because she’s white.
Socioeconomic class limits privilege. We need to find a way to connect with these women, rather than blame them for being traitors to a cause that they may not identify with. Otherwise, we are allowing political power to divide and conquer.
As much as I have tried to penetrate what I considered to be the alternative universe inhabited by those who voted for Donald Trump, there is one barrier I haven’t yet overcome. Regardless of one’s personal situation, my moral code won’t permit me to support any candidate who promotes hatred toward so many.
Still, I refuse to stereotype every woman who voted for Donald Trump as deplorable. I have always believed that women have the power to heal the world. Our condescending attitudes toward women who voted for a man we loathe will keep us divided. My challenge is not to educate other women, but to seek to understand.
Sara Weinberger, of Northampton, is a professor emerita of social work and writes a monthly column.