#MeToo — I experienced workplace sexual harassment before there was a term for it. The memory has haunted me for almost 40 years.
While millions of women have broken their silence, the media is turning a serious issue into a celebrity circus, as we wonder who will be the next actor or legislator to be exposed as a sexual predator. The focus is more about those who have fallen from grace then the suffering of their victims.
When Anita Hill accused her boss, Clarence Thomas, of sexual harassment in 1991, droves of women came out of the closet. Employers were required to develop sexual harassment policies, which had to be posted and explained to new employees. Despite what looked like a shift from the notion that men could say and do whatever they wanted to women, Clarence Thomas became a Supreme Court justice. Women believed her. Congress did not.
Today feels like déjà vu, and though many men have become believers, and the accused are being publicly shamed, I wonder: Will the voices of victims ultimately reduce sexual violence?
Or will the media and its followers ultimately move on?
How can we claim that perpetrators will be held accountable, when the predator in chief, despite solid evidence of sexual misconduct, continues to reign?
I am struck by how many of the reports of abuse have come from adults who were groped, harassed, propositioned, kissed, coerced and assaulted by trusted teachers, doctors, therapists, bosses, co-workers, and, of course, family members, when they were adolescents. “Outing” sexual predators does little to stop this epidemic that makes teenagers, at such a vulnerable period of their lives, prey for those who misuse their power.
The long list of those “outed” keeps on growing. Some, like Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey, check themselves into celebrity treatment centers like The Meadows in Arizona, offering high-priced “treatment” for sex addiction, a diagnosis that has not been recognized by the American Psychiatric Association.
There’s a range of behaviors the media lumps together — including pedophilia, sexual assault, sexual harassment, incest, exhibitionism — with little attention to what they actually mean. The term “sexual misconduct” is a euphemism for behaviors that traumatize victims for life.
The focus on celebrities ignores those who don’t make the headlines, like waitresses, whose dependence on tips makes them put up with all sorts of degrading behavior from customers, as well as co-workers. Remember the Route 9 Diner in Hadley? Millions of women endure these kinds of behavior in the workplace because they can’t risk losing their jobs.
We’re clearly dealing with sociological, as well as psychological issues: mental illness, patriarchal power, misogyny, objectification of women and children, the consequences of subordinate status in society. Sexual violence represents a continuum of behaviors that range from whistles and catcalls to rape, all designed to degrade and intimidate human beings, by treating them as subordinate, sexual objects.
#MeToo is a catchy slogan, but the effects of confessions are short-lived if the conditions that victimize millions go unchanged. Despite the mountain of evidence that Roy Moore is a pedophiliac with a history of violent sexual assault, many still predict that he will win the Alabama Senate race.
Of the long list of men who used their power to sexually harm women, as well as men, only former Congressman Anthony Wiener, sentenced to 21 months in prison for sexting with a minor, is doing time.
Former President Clinton was almost impeached for his sexual improprieties; today he’s regained his celebrity status. Will Weinstein and Spacey hide out in their expensive “treatment facility” until the dust settles and they can return to stardom, while their victims continue to be tormented by the past?
The psychosocial issues that enable sexual predators to victimize millions must be addressed. Our sons and daughters must learn that women and girls are more than the sum of their body parts. Our communities must model appropriate behaviors, and schools need to practice a zero tolerance policy toward anyone who displays behaviors that make others feel uncomfortable.
Everyone should be encouraged to report sexual misconduct when it happens, and those who do report need to be taken seriously. It’s time to stop looking the other way when we are aware of inappropriate behavior. Research, diagnosis, and treatment of sexual pathology need to be adequately funded and accessible to everyone, regardless of income.
Our criminal justice system must hold perpetrators accountable. We need to stop supporting the multibillion dollar industries that promote the notion that female beauty reigns over female intellect.
Until all are given full equality, men with status will continue to assert their power over others by sexually victimizing those they deem to be subservient. The dynamics that led white slave owners to rape their Negro slaves continue to be used today by those who use their status to dehumanize the other.
Our voices must rage against our patriarchal society, which promotes male dominance and female subordination in schools, government, media, workplaces and families. If we really believe the victims, we will act to make sure their stories lead to action.
Sara Weinberger, of Easthampton, is a professor emerita of social work and writes a monthly column. She can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.