When I was a middle-schooler, everyone had to take at least one Home Economics class. My cooler peers complained, but secretly I liked it. I still remember many of the projects, in fact. I made a pillow in the shape of a lion. I learned how to make a layer cake. I sewed myself a wraparound skirt — red with blue flowers. These projects were meant to prepare us for our future lives, I guess, but a life that bears little resemblance to the one I’m leading. I’ve made very few layer cakes as an adult and zero lion pillows.
Today, no traditional Home Ec classes are offered at my daughters’ school, but during a three-week winter session, my younger one took something called “Life Skills.” When I asked her what she was learning, the words “lion-shaped pillow” never came up. “On the first day we learned about minimum wage,” she said. “And how in America you can’t rent a two-bedroom apartment if you’re making minimum wage.” It’s a much more realistic future they’re preparing for, in other words.
One could say that Stella and her classmates spent the winter term adulting. Sessions included How to Write Checks. The Difference Between a Credit and Debit Card. Credit and Debt: How They Work. How to Shop for Your Family on a Typical Minimum Wage Budget (this was filled with trick questions, as Stella soon learned.)
The kids even wrote resumes, listing their scant education — we’re talking about first-year students in high school, after all — and their work experience, such as it was. A teacher conducted mock interviews for their mock job opportunities.
Overall, Stella’s short Life Skills class gave her a more accurate picture of what adulthood would look like than the 1980s-era Home Ec did for me. She didn’t learn how to make a layer cake, but she was exposed to some important stuff, and I’m glad she’s learning some of it now, when the stakes are low. I hope she doesn’t have to relearn any of these lessons the hard way.
But I find myself considering how the life skills that I find most meaningful — and the ones that have taken the longest for me to learn — aren’t just about money or cooking or job interviews. If I were teaching a Life Skills class to my 48-year-old cohort, it would include How to Exit a Party Early So You Can Go Home to Sleep. Road Rage 101. How to Say No to Your Kids’ School Volunteer Committee. Is Housecleaning Worthwhile?: A Longitudinal Study.
The thing is, long after we (mostly) get a handle on writing checks and shopping for groceries, there’s still so damn much more stuff to figure out. Some days I feel like I’m not so much learning as I am conceding; there are some skills, like Effective Communication in Uncomfortable Situations, that I may never nail. I understand Debt, not only How It Works but also How It Feels To Be Drowning In It. Where’s the seminar on Falling Asleep in Movies: How to Remain Conscious for Two Hours in a Dark Theater? What wouldn’t I give for a three-week winter session where I could learn skills to cope with a world of adulting that I never imagined, one where the biggest secret is that we all feel like imposters who really just winging it. Yeah, no: There’s only so much Life Skills classes can take on.
With that in mind, let’s circle back to How to Make a Layer Cake. That might be the one offering from my 1982 stint in Home Ec that I’d like to reboot. I’ll never learn How to Say No to Your Kids’ School Volunteer Committee Without Feeling Guilty, but thanks to Home Ec of the 1980s, I can bake a damn cake. And if there’s one thing I can say about this realistic adult life I’m leading, it’s that I wish it involved more cake.
Naomi Shulman’s work has appeared in many publications including The New York Times, The Washington Post and Yankee Magazine, as well as on NEPR and WBUR. Follow her on Twitter:
@naomishulman.