One need not look far to encounter the seemingly endless flood of pain that seems to be flowing from every direction. Turn on local, national, or global news to be bombarded with crises and agonies that leave us feeling immobilized, that our actions are futile, that our nation is doomed to be divided and full of hate.
So how can we help to soothe some of the immense pain we are seeing? How can we rise to the challenge when things feel overwhelming, uncomfortable, and awkward?
In order for any of us to stand up as true allies, we must do some potentially uncomfortable work in ourselves, and for others. It is essential to recognize that in order for white supremacy to continue to flourish unchecked, we only need to remain indifferent to the struggles that our black, brown, Muslim, and LGBTQIA friends and neighbors are enduring.
By avoiding possible discomfort when we may have an opportunity to be a strong ally to community members who are considered “other” by our mainstream society, we ignore, minimize, or even bury the painful reality that so many people are living on a daily basis.
What a conundrum that so many people are willing and able to help their neighbors and have no idea how, while many minorities have been systematically conditioned to believe that anyone outside their circle won’t even recognize their humanity, let alone their pain. Couple that with the reality that the overarching culture in America shuns any displays of weakness, and that can inevitably lead to many minorities feeling especially isolated in any time of need or suffering. This unfortunate confluence of factors leads to further divisions and fractured communities.
I recently spoke with Tahirah Amatul-Waddud, a Muslim woman, mother of seven, community leader, Springfield attorney, and recent candidate for Congress in the 1st District of Massachusetts. I asked Ms. Amatul-Waddud for her perspectives on how well-intentioned people can step up to be respectful allies in the wake of the recent atrocities in New Zealand and beyond, and she graciously complied.
From this conversation, I learned that there are simple yet powerful ways that those of us who wish be allies can truly step up and notice, learn, support, and stretch.
Notice: Clearly, our Muslim friends are members of our community that are particularly pained right now, due to the heightened sense of fear and vulnerability that naturally follows after an act of terror against a marginalized community. Violent hate crimes and their aftereffects reverberate around the world immediately after they occur, and not only do they have the horrific possibility of emboldening other violent extremists to act, but they further isolate marginalized groups.
One of the keys to being a decent ally to our Muslim neighbors is to notice their pain, and work to lessen that pain. We must also notice our own perspectives, biases, and privileges. We can make a commitment to doing the uncomfortable work of being vulnerable, open to listening, and doing more than “sending good vibes.” We all share the responsibility of dismantling systems of oppression, but this duty truly falls on the shoulders of people with privilege, people in positions of relative power.
Learn: According to the Public Religion Research Institute, most Americans don’t personally know or interact with any Muslim people, much less even converse with a Muslim person. That same study revealed that a large percentage of Americans say they know little or even nothing about Islam. Given that world religions aren’t always taught in schools with much depth or sensitivity, if even taught at all, misinformation or simple ignorance persists about the basic religious beliefs and practices of Muslim people.
A potent starting place to begin learning is online, where introductory articles and videos abound. Even Oprah Winfrey has one on YouTube! Harvard Divinity School has developed a the Religious Literacy Project with the sole intention of advancing public understanding of different faith traditions, and their overview of Islam is robust, easy to read, and free online.
Support: Muslim houses of worship, or mosques, are community hubs for prayer, social connection, learning, life milestones, and grieving. Tragically and with increasing frequency, mosques have had to host candlelight vigils.
One simple and straightforward way to show support is to arrive with refreshments to share. When you attend a vigil, bringing a case of water or a platter of cookies not only shows solidarity, but relieves some of the pressure on the grieving community to be hospitable. If you can’t attend an event in person, there are plenty of delivery services that can bring goods to the mosque in your stead. These little acts of generosity send a clear message of compassion and shared humanity.
Stretch: It is nearly impossible to work for positive social change while simultaneously remaining in our comfortable silos. Truly showing up for Muslim people requires non-Muslim people to stretch outside comfort zones. You can do this by attending a Friday prayer at a mosque, which is a simple and powerful way to show that the divisions between us are easily dissolved.
For those allies with a bit more time to give, serving as a mentor in a school is an incredibly powerful way to support the most vulnerable Muslim people in our communities — children. By providing ongoing support to a child, by showing a child that they are valued and worth your time, you could help prevent bullying or help to heal the aftereffects of bullying that many Muslim kids unfortunately experience.
The time has long since come for all of us to notice our various privileges and operate as true collaborators in the fight against xenophobia, Islamaphobia, and racism. American society is set up to make white people comfortable, and being a true collaborator can be intrinsically uncomfortable.
Being a true ally means doing more than sending our good wishes. It means actively working to obliterate the power structures that are overtly hurting people right here in our communities and around the world.
Together, we can work to knit our humanity together in new ways, strive to heal some of the pain, and create a world that isn’t us versus them, but simply us.
Chelsea Kline is a women’s leadership-focused life coach whose early experiences as a Jewish, queer, low-income, single teen mom influenced her 25-plus years as a progressive reproductive rights and social justice activist. A graduate of both Smith College and Harvard Divinity School, Chelsea’s career is fueled by an unshakable belief in the strength of women, and utilizes compassion and humor to coach women towards being their most ferocious and fabulous selves.