While quarantine measures help reduce the spread of COVID-19, they also create conditions where domestic and sexual violence can flourish. Cutoff from family and friends, and with limited access to usual systems of support, many victims and survivors find themselves trapped at home indefinitely with an abusive person.

More than ever, addressing domestic and sexual violence depends on all of us. Below is our five-point plan that starts where we think all of our efforts should start — by asking people who are abusive to stop abusing.

One: Don’t mistreat or abuse your partner. If you think you might hurt your partner, step away from the scene and do something to calm down that won’t put anyone in danger. Then, examine your thinking. The stress of COVID-19 does not cause you to abuse your partner. Beliefs and values cause abuse.

Healthy relationships rely on the belief that you do not have the right to mistreat your partner when you are angry or stressed out. Take care of yourself, challenge your beliefs, and, above all, be a safe person. If you need help to do this, call Proteus at 413-579-7570, or contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233 or www.thehotline.org.

Two: If you have a strong relationship with someone who is inclined to mistreat or abuse their partner, reach out to them. Ask them how they are doing and be real with them if they talk about their partner in a way that worries you. Challenge them if they say things like “They had it coming,” or “What did they expect?” or “Who do they think they are?”

It is important they know that you care about them and that you do not agree with their thinking or behavior. Coach them on what to do if they think they might hurt their partner, and offer to have them call you if they need help. Tell them about the resources above. Remind them that being a safe partner is the foundation of a healthy family life.

Three: If you think your partner might hurt you, make a plan for how to stay as safe as possible. Keep your phone charged in case you need to call 911 or reach a friend quickly. If needed, test out where on your property you have reception in case you have to run outside. Tell someone you trust that you are worried, and come up with a safe word you can use to let them know you need help.

Be aware of the safest room in the home (not the kitchen where there are knives) and where there is an easy exit. Have important papers, medications, keys, money, etc. at the ready. If you have kids, think through how you want to handle it depending on their age. What should they do if something happens? Who can they call? Is it safe to talk to them about emergency plans? Keep one or more of these domestic violence services/hotline numbers close by. Saving them in your phone under a different name can help.

■Safe Passage, 413-586-5066

■YWCA, 800-796-8711

■Hilltown Safety at Home, 413-693-9977 or 413-667-2203 x341 (not 24/7)

■Safe Link, 877-785-2020 (has statewide inventory of shelter beds)

■www.thehotline.org, or text LOVEIS to 2252 if you need to talk via text

Four: If you know someone who is at risk of being hurt, reach out. Tell them you are worried about their safety. Listen, be supportive, and don’t judge; you’ll want them to feel safe sharing openly with you. Remind them of their strengths and what you love about them. If they tell you about being abused, remind them it is not their fault.

Avoid trash talking their partner, and instead focus on helping them develop a plan to stay as safe as possible. Think of what help you can offer. Can you read to their kids over FaceTime every day at 7 p.m. to give them a scheduled break? Can you drop off groceries, supplies, or gift cards? Can you offer money through a cash app? Make sure they know about the resources listed above.

Five: If you hear people talk about how the stress and isolation of COVID-19 is causing more domestic and sexual violence, use the opportunity to gently introduce and discuss the real cause of abuse. It makes sense that caring people might think stress could make someone abusive. But the truth is, stress does not cause abuse.

Many kind people endure extreme stress and never hurt anyone. Abuse is caused by what author JAC Patrissi calls abusive values. Consciously or unconsciously, people who are abusive believe they are superior to their partner, and believe that if their partner challenges them or makes them uncomfortable they have the right to harm their partner. They believe they are not accountable to their partner, that their partner should be grateful for whatever they get, and that their partner’s opinions and perspectives don’t matter as much as their own.

Reducing stress alone will never end domestic violence. To do that, we need to do something bigger — we need to change the underlying values that cause abuse. We can value safety instead. We can value each other as equals.

Like so many, we are deeply worried about domestic violence during COVID-19. We are also hopeful that we will come out of this better equipped to end domestic violence the only way it will ever really end — with all of us involved.

Monica Moran, Bridget Mulkerrins, and Wendy Long, members, Southern Hilltown Domestic Violence Task Force. The Task Force can be reached on Facebook or at southernhillsdvtaskforce@gmail.com.