Wait, Whately, don’t tell me. You’re going to do what? Spend how much to fix two bridges nobody needs? $500,000 Right. On a road that’s been closed how long? 10 years. And how many people live on that end of the road? None.

OK, since many of our readers may not be familiar with this stretch of road, remind us about it. It’s Williamsburg Road, running out of West Whately, by the chapel. It passes through Water Department land for 1.5 miles before coming out in Haydenville.

OK, quiz time: what’s the name of the road as it comes out on the other end?

Nash Hill Road? Five points.

Anyone there gnashing their teeth to lose their cul-de-sac? Not as far as I know.

Now name five animals that live in that so-called “empty” part. Bear, moose, mink, blue heron and trout. And Jefferson Newts.

And what’s the contiguous habitat? Conway State Forest to the North and Audubon’s Graves Farm to the South. And the road bisects this area?

What do visiting humans do there? Walk, ride bikes, ski, get away from noise and cars. Bird-watch, too.

How many minutes does it take to drive all the way around? Ten, max.

Does anyone in Whately town government think this is a crucial, necessary or even a good idea? No one I’ve talked to.

Why are they doing it?

There are two seasonal camps that want more direct access. That, and maybe quicker watermelon deliveries on Wednesdays.

True or false: Did the West Whately chapel refuse to rent to a local troupe because their puppet show referenced the “closed road and broken bridges”?

I don’t know: true? Twenty points. Twenty points? Well, I was going to be in that puppet show, so it’s personal.

Last question. If you get this one right, Peter Sagal will moderate your next town meeting — via Zoom. Ready? What constitutional amendment, federal or state law ensures the right of cars to go anywhere and everywhere, regardless of the cost to drinking water supply, passive recreation and wildlife?

Hmm. Not a clue.

Jonathan Stevens

Haydenville

The writer lives on Nash Hill Road. He is also co-owner of Hungry Ghost Bread in Northampton.