It is again June, Worldwide Pride Month, and I felt I need to add my voice to the LGBTQ chorus. I happen to be a member of this community, and many of its members are very special to me. While more than one of the above five letters applies to me, I want to focus on the “T” for the transgender community.
Since the previous presidential administration, the assault on the LGBTQ community has been horrendous. However, the assault by conservatives in many state legislatures on the transgender community has been particularly cruel.
I think much of this can be credited to fear, ignorance, and the belief that being trans is somehow against God’s will. As a believer in God myself, I feel that since I transitioned to female, I feel more blessed than ever before, but this is not intended to be a piece on religion and the transgender community. Mostly, I would like to dispel some myths and misunderstandings about the trans community.
First Myth: Gender dysphoria, the intense desire to be a gender other than one matching a person’s birth sex, is tied to sexual orientation. Of the transgender people I know, the vast majority want(ed) to feel comfortable and happy within themselves before worrying about their sexual orientation. That is not to say that a young person’s perceived sexual orientation can’t confuse their understanding of who they are gender-wise. Sexual orientation is not, and should not be, the driver for the decision to transition.
Second Myth: Transgender people are deviants. The transgender people I have met over the years are some of the kindest, most creative, caring, introspective, and genuine, yes, genuine, people I have ever met. Trans folks are not posing as transgender to get away with some crime, and when it comes to bathrooms, we all just want to go in, do our business, and get out.
Third Myth: Transgender people look weird. I can list many beautiful celebrities that people would be shocked to learn are transgender. The same goes for many people just walking down the streets of America. I will say that, during the transition process, many of us do not look our best — in fact, our gender may not be clearly apparent based upon our bodies, hair, clothing, and so forth.
Transitioning to a new gender is akin to reliving our puberty years, in fact, for transitioning adults, our bodies go through similar gyrations to those experienced during puberty — and who thinks they looked good in middle school? Over time, hormones (if the transgender person opts to use them) change our bodies. We learn how to dress, cut our hair, do our makeup, and how to move — we learn how to live in our “new” bodies and gender. It is intensely exciting and scary all at the same time.
Fourth Myth: Transgender people are mentally ill. This is a tough one. Many transgender people do suffer from mental illness, namely depression, and substance abuse, but it is important to know that with an accepting family, workplace, and community, this does not have to be the case.
Transgender individuals are no more likely to suffer mental illness than anyone else, but being transgender can be extremely tough if the individuals are homeless, lack family and social supports, and have no way to make a living. This is no different from anyone else lacking these important essentials of life.
Fifth Myth: Stopping teens from transitioning is ethical and proper. In reality, stopping a teen from transitioning to their proper gender is extremely cruel, and might result in them taking their own life out of desperation.
Some legislators think that teens are not old enough to make such an important decision, but when a doctor is ready to prescribe cross-gender hormones, the teens have been thoroughly vetted by doctors and counselors, and even family members. They can make this decision themselves.
For anyone reading this who is still afraid of trans folks or still confused about what it means to be transgender, I urge you to read accounts by trans authors. Better yet, sit down over a cup of coffee with a transgender person, have a chat, and you’ll understand.
Mariel E. Addisn lives in Florence.