I am blessed to be surrounded by remarkable women friends who inspire me daily. Women who are leaders, visionary and brave, who set a high bar for the rest of us. Women who work daily to mend, repair, and heal this beautiful but broken world. Women like Beverly Daniel Tatum, Sister Nobuntu Ingrid Askew, Jo Comerford, Tahirah Amatul-Wadud, Gina-Louise Sciarra, my sister Gina Ayvazian and sister-in-law Marcelle Walters. And Gwen Agna.
The most recent amazing gift to the universe from this stunning group of friends and family (and there are others, too many to name!) is the new book, “True You: A Gender Journey,” by Gwen Agna and Shelley Rotner. This book is a tender embrace of kids and their expansive gender identities. “True You” is open-hearted, wildly affirming, profoundly inclusive and visually engaging.
Gwen and Shelley received permission from the parents of a group of children, from quite young to pre-teen, to speak to their kids, record and transcribe the conversations, and photograph each child. The book is a compilation of the children’s own words paired with their pictures, and Gwen and Shelley’s economically-written reflections. The result is a book for all ages that is authentic and powerful beyond measure.
Gwen and Shelley write: “There are different ways to show and be who you are. It’s up to you — how you feel, how you dress, how you act, how you play, learn, and love.”
The book contains photographs of kids on bikes, in dresses, pants, and a tutu, one with blue hair, kids of color and white, eating ice cream, kids with disabilities and able-bodied. These are, as we say in my profession, all God’s people. And bless them. Bless them for telling their stories, laughing in front of the camera, waving their pride flags, swinging from a jungle-gym, and wearing “They/Them” buttons.
“I’m not sure if I’m a boy or a girl,” one child says, “Sometimes it’s hard to know how I feel or what to wear. It doesn’t matter. I’m a kid. I like my bunny and cars.”
Not only does “True You” teach us all so much about kids and the inter-generational trans community in a lovely and gentle way, but the book is totally joyful. So many smiles, so many kids hugging, so much delight captured between two covers of one book.
“I love my sibling,” on child says. “People should have the choice of what they want to be and shouldn’t be judged for that. Nonbinary kids, like my sibling, should be treated the same way that other friends who are cisgender boys or girls are treated. We’re all people.”
Should readers be tripped up by some of the language in the book, there is an “Introductory Glossary” at the back of the book. The glossary will help folks learn or review what dysphoria, deadname, gender euphoria, agender and so many other terms all mean.
The back of the book also contains resources for future exploration, why therapeutic support matters, transgender terminology suggestions, and a letter from a grown-up Trans girl and a letter from a family with a Trans child. The addition of these materials make the book a valuable reference guide and teaching tool.
My granddaughter Fiona is now a toddler. She loves books — that is when she can sit still long enough to stare at the pictures and hear the words. Gwen and Shelley’s book is now a treasured addition to the Fiona book collection in our living room; I know my husband and I will read this gem to her often.
And now a word to the people who write me critical and even hateful messages after my monthly columns appear: please do not write to me in response to this column. Maybe you could find, borrow, or buy a copy of True You and read it. Open your heart, feast your eyes, and take in the profound goodness in this loving gift to us all. This book promotes dignity and respect for all members of the human family. This book could save lives. Take a deep breath, this is all good.
In closing, I refer to the wise words from a young one quoted in True You. This child said, “When I was born, they thought I was a boy. I am! I have all kinds of friends. What matters is if you’re nice and kind to everyone.”
Amen to that sentiment.
The Rev. Dr. Andrea Ayvazian of Northampton is an associate pastor at Alden Baptist Church in Springfield. She is also the founder and director of the Sojourner Truth School for Social Change Leadership.