A common refrain I often hear this time of year is some form of trepidation or dread about the encroaching darkness. Even the snow lovers bemoan the onset of those “long winter nights” and the seemingly endless darkness. Hence the emphasis on light and warmth throughout the winter holidays, humans have long feared the cold dark of winter loneliness, and crafted ways to keep a spark of warmth kindled among us.
Yet, it seems that everywhere I turn there’s even more divisions between us, new ways to diminish the warmth and light that we all crave and need. Dog owners vs. cat owners. Twitter vs. Facebook vs. Instagram vs. TikTok. Religion, politics, age, favorite sports team, etc., our identities and affiliations matter deeply, and yet can also keep us apart when we forget that we are all just human. We are all messy, flawed, goofy creatures who always seem to find something new to argue about on our preferred social media platforms.
At best, these fractions can create community, a tribe to feel safe and held. At worst, our differences can effectively extinguish the warmth between us, leading to a very cold and isolated existence. Perhaps one way for us to foster warmth while honoring our differences is to share what makes us each unique.
Reading Lewis Hyde’s book “The Gift” profoundly shifted how I think about human relationships, and our duty to keep our special talents or proclivities in circulation between us. We each have plenty to offer, be it creativity, time, money, resources, inspiration, assistance, or even simply a kind, listening ear, and the key is for us to share what we’ve got. The most valuable gifts that we can offer one another are intangible, yet can make huge positive impacts on others. Our offerings don’t have to be expensive, the only requirement is that we keep them in motion, keep them warm. It’s our responsibility to identify our own unique gifts and offer them up to one another all through the year, but especially now as the sunlight wanes and the nights grow long.
A friend asked me recently how I was able to run a non-profit, relying on donations and volunteers. My friend admitted that the idea of asking for help or money seemed painfully uncomfortable, and wanted to know how I was able to regularly make those asks. This conversation prompted me to examine how I’m able to approach my work with such aplomb, and why it hasn’t ever been even mildly uncomfortable for me.
I recognize that fundraising ranks up there with root canals on the list of least favorite activities for many people. However, I view my role as offering invitations to participate in the joyful work of keeping goodness in circulation. Many of us don’t realize that we have something wonderful to offer until we’re asked, and being invited to participate in this cycle is an honor in and of itself. My friend’s question allowed me to see the deeper meaning behind what it means to ask for support.
Allowing people an opportunity to give their time, ideas, or financial support towards someone they love, a total stranger, or a mission they believe is a simple yet profound method of fostering warmth and driving out the darkness.
I offer you a moment to pause and reflect on not only what matters to you, but what special gifts you have to share. When we give what we can towards something or someone, or when we gratefully receive an offering, then we do our part to keep a fragile spark alive between us, regardless of our various differences. Giving and receiving tangible and intangible gifts is what keeps a magic sparkle alive within and between us, and we couldn’t be givers if we didn’t have receivers.
I invite you to recognize the potent human impact that’s infused in the exchange of even the simplest of offerings. It’s truly the antidote to isolation, division and coldness.
No matter which holidays you celebrate, I wish you peace, light and warmth.
Chelsea Sunday Kline is an author and big hugger who was recently appointed the executive director at Cancer Connection.