Physicists at Loughborough University in the UK deployed the latest in nanolithography techniques … to create a violin that’s just 13 microns wide. That’s thinner than a human hair, which is typically up to 180 microns in diameter. You would have to be a tiny tardigrade to play it, but the novel creation demonstrates ways in which the next generation of electronic devices could be made.  BBC News, Leicester, June 5, 2025

Tardigrades Rehearsal Studio

“Listen up, everyone, especially you youngins who still have 80 or more years to practice. We elders have waited for this day for almost a century. Now it’s here. I’ve gotten my appendages on two dozen violins, with 10 violas on back order. That’s the good news. The bad news is that there are no basses available anywhere. I’ve got contacts in the best labs throughout Europe and the States. Word is they’re working on size reduction but are still not there. Sorry, Big Max. You’re out for now.”

“So what are you saying, Maestro? We’re gonna rehearse with no violas or bass?”

“Hey Junior! Listen to yourself! You’ve got your 8 appendages ready to wrap around a violin, an actual violin, same as 23 of your fellow Tardigrades. We should all be playing the praises of those English scientists. Time’s a-wasting. Let’s rip open these boxes and take a look at these beauties. I want us ready to perform sometime in the next decade.

Gastrotrichs Rehearsal Studio

“We got a lot to do in 9 weeks – learn our scores, practice, and perform for a bunch of other  phyla –  the Gnathostomulida, Rotifera, and Nematoda for certain. Word is also spreading among the Platyhelminthes and the Ecdysozoa. Very exciting times indeed!”

“Gastro-maestro, is it true that those annoying Tardis across the lake have two dozen instruments? And they have that giant, Big Max, the bass player. They say he’s as big as a period! An actual period, Ariel font, size 12! Imagine that!”

“Take it easy, Gastro-Gus. First of all, those lab-humans are not making basses yet. And you know those “water bears.” They live for about a century; we get ten weeks, at the most. The Lord works in mysterious ways, but we must make the best of the time we have left in our seabed home. Let’s crank the amps to maximum volume and play our seven fiddles like there’s no tomorrow (which could be true for some of us. Sorry for the morbid joke.) Maybe we’ll even get those Tardigrades across the lake wiggling in their creepy, rolled-up bodies. I, for one, can hardly wait! Who’s got the boxcutter?” 

Cheese Mites Rehearsal Studio

“ I know we have work to do – I get it.  But geez Louise! Cheese, cheese, cheese, day after day after day, makes for a mighty dull mite.” 

 “You’re so clever, Antonio. Ever the punster-mite.” 

“It comes natural to me, mite Mario – what can I say? But seriously, mite-mates, I get it. Those specialty German cheeses need us. No question. Without us, they can forget about the unique flavors and aromas of their precious Milbenkäse, Cantal and Mimolette. But look, just look! What we’ve got here is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity – a chance to learn to play the violin! And to learn, one must practice. And to practice, one must devote time. We must cut back our hours at the cheese factories.”

“But Maestro-mite Antonio, you forget: in order to survive, we must take in the protein and fat from those wonderful cheeses. Our work is our sustenance.” 

“Sustenance my appendage! We are growing fat and lazy. Most of us middle-aged mites have 30 days left – at the outside. Don’t you remember what Einstein said:

‘If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.’ 

I won’t take no for an answer. On the count of three, we smother this box and claw it open.

Ready? … One, two, three …”

    (One Hour Later)

“Gastro-Maestro, there is a conference call with Maestro-mite Antonio and the Tardigrades Maestro.”

“Hello. Yes, yes, highly disappointing, extremely upsetting, especially considering some of us here have 2-3 weeks to live. Yes, we, too, found our violins with no strings or bows. I have sent out feelers to lab contacts around the world. As soon as we learn of the string and bow production schedule, we will let everyone know. Until then, my microscopic neighbors, sadly, it’s business as usual.”

Gene Stamell plays a six-string guitar in Leverett. He can be reached at gstamell@gmail.com.