Believe it out not, it’s only a little over a year since Trump’s second term began. Where does the time go? It just flies by once you’re great again, again. Let’s do a quick review of Trump’s first year.
The reason for the military build up around Venezuela is because Trump doesn’t know where Greenland is. Does he know that they named it Greenland because no one wanted to go there? Get ready for Trump Tower Nuuk. Instead of sending asylum seekers to suffer in alligator Alcatraz, get ready to freeze your fanny off in Puffin Prison in Paamiut, Greenland. Personally, I hope Trump invades Iran, Venezuela, Greenland and Minneapolis again all at once. If that doesn’t win him the No-Bell Peace Prize, nothing will. Trump was very pleased when María Corina Machado gave him a piece of her Peace Prize, but very disappointed that she didn’t give him a piece of the prize money as well.
Usually Trump loves dictators who have already done what he would like to do here in Amerika. (sic) But he hates Maduro because Maduro’s “Jan. 6” coup worked (until now) to overturn his election loss while Trumps first “Jan. 6” coup attempt didn’t. Better luck next time Mr. President For Life. If Trump was half the tyrant he pretends to be, the Jan. 6, 2021 “Love Fest” would have worked and we’d be well into his third term.
Trump just contracted $3.8 billion dollars to build the same high-tech wall between us and Mexico that Israel built between itself and Gaza. Good luck with that. Mexico will pay for it because they want to keep the crazy gringos out.
What, I wonder, is the ethnic and racial break down of ICE agents? They might need a government grant to start a DEI program to make ICE look more like America. Instead of spending $37.5 billion a year (that’s billion with a B) for agents, wouldn’t it be much cheaper to hire foreigners instead? ICE agents (renamed Trump Troopers) killed four people in January. At this rate he’ll never catch up to the Iranians.
Why does Trump hate the Olympics and call one Olympian a “loser?” He is however still willing to let some of them visit the White House (soon to be renamed “The Trump House”) but only if they give him their gold medals first. If even just one athlete gives in to him, then Trump will have more gold medals than Obama. Who cares about the No-Bell prize for losers?
National parks are no longer free on Martin Luther King Day, but are now free on Trump’s birthday. Soon they’ll be sold off to real estate developers, strip miners and data centers, so who cares? This is true, by the way. I’ve got to face facts that in reality Trump is a better satirist than I am. But I digress.
This all started when Trump added his name to the Dead Kennedy’s center. He’s also going to add his name, image and likeness to the Trump Lincoln, Trump Jefferson and Trump Washington monuments. Notice that his name is always first, except for the new name for the MLK statue which he’ll rename the King Trump memorial, even though he’s still alive, mostly. Why should Lincoln the loser get a memorial? If Lincoln was such a great president, why would they assassinate him? But I digress, again.
Trump supporters agree he’s the greatest president since Jefferson Davis. But to be put on the list of the greatest presidents in history, Lincoln, Roosevelt and Kennedy he’ll have to figure out what they all had in common. Wishful thinking on my part. Anyway, three more years wait and he will “just go away” just like COVID.
Andy Morris-Friedman lives in Hadley.