These days, I find myself dreading each new(s) day. Every morning, I have to steel myself to open the next door of the Advent calendar from hell … confident that it will reveal not a treat but some new horror. Maybe you’re like me. Maybe the thing you dread most is the possibility of becoming inured to the endless firehose-torrent of venality and cruelty that populates our media sources because that would mean you have surrendered and succumbed. And that would mean your principles were merely vanities and conveniences. And that would suck.
My personal threshold for dismay has shifted substantially since the 2016 election. What once was unthinkable has become banal. I’m sure that’s true for a lot of folks — and that is worrisome. We have arrived at a point where our contempt becomes indiscriminate and unfocused. There’s no sense of perspective or context. Just wrath.
Another phenomenon I’ve noticed, particularly in the Valley (but not exclusive to it), is what I’ve taken to calling “outrage appropriation.” That’s where people act as if there isn’t enough to be mad at, co-opt the rage of people who are entitled to it, and use it as their own. For example, men who condemn other people for not being evolved when it comes to gender biases. Or folks who assume the role of marginalized people without having endured their oppression — speaking about them, without them. There was a bizarre version of this phenomenon a while back — we saw people pretending to be Vietnam combat veterans who never knew combat. They lied about the horrors they experienced “in country” and at home because … well, I have no idea why, but it diminished the very real experiences and traumas genuine Vietnam combat veterans endured. Another extreme example would be Rachel Dolezal, the white woman who fabricated an African-American heritage and became a spokesperson for the NAACP in Spokane, Washington. These behaviors seem to be inspired by a perverse oppression envy.
There’s a distinction, to be sure, between allies and sanctimonious scolds. The allies recognize they can facilitate change while recognizing their own part in the circumstances. The scolds piously lecture everyone, even the people they presume to represent, and exempt themselves from complicity.
Social media is the perfect petri dish for this kind of behavior. People rarely have dialogues there; rather, social media is where people go to compete and score “gotcha!” points. It’s a place where pompous guys can mansplain feminism to women and pile on cynical memes to assert their authority.
I know this conduct from both sides, if I’m being honest. I’ve been on the receiving end, and I have done my share of delivering it. And all I’ve been able to learn is that such smugness provokes visceral reactions that make conversations difficult, if not impossible.
There are people who have come by their scorn legitimately and are, at least, qualified to express it. Then there are those who cop someone else’s experience and devalue it by taking it on as their own un-earned cause.
Give it back. It’s not yours.
Bill Dwight is a Northampton city councilor and a pie wrangler at the Florence Pie Bar.