“Oh no, not you again! I thought I told you to stop calling me.” I know, Rod, you did, but this time I’ve got a great idea for something I think you’ll want to participate in if you’ll just hear me out. Before you respond let me ease your mind, this project is not intended for your TV show, the Twilight Zone. I’ve given up messing with your brain about that.
“Hmm, well, OK, I’ll give you one last chance, what is this new project of yours?” Thanks, Rod, you’re the best. So, I’m planning to create, not a TV show, but a graphic novel. How does that sound?
“My first reaction is that this will be just another version of your wacked out ideas for my TV shows. Am I right about that?”
Well, no. Or maybe yes, but not really. This will be a story about a super villain who goes by the name of Orange Man and that’s because he is orange and large. But not in a muscular way, as his only workout is driving a golfcart. Just imagine the vibrant graphic drawings of this bright orange guy. He’ll certainly grab our readers’ attention right from the start.
“So far, this doesn’t sound very exciting to me.” OK, I know, Rod, just hold on. The super villain, the Orange Man, grew up in a very rich family headed by a real estate tycoon and he becomes one too. The Orange Man grows into an outrageous conman who scammed workers, contractors and businesses out of millions of dollars with multiple bankruptcies and failures. And he assaults women too and somehow gets away with everything.
One day he decides to run for the presidency of his country and surprise, surprise, he wins having used his superior conman skills to convince enough voters that he will fix everything that might be broken in this imaginary land of theirs. He then spends four years lying and attempting to wreck everything. It ends with an attack on the country’s parliament by his supporters in hopes of overturning his loss in that year’s election.
“This sounds very familiar.” No, Rod, this is different, this will be gorgeously drawn in dazzling color with the big Orange Man larger than life as he attempts to destroy everything around him.
“Ok, ok, what happens next?” Next is his opponent who won that election gets to take office in the middle of a global pandemic. “Wait right there, a global pandemic?!” Yes, Rod, a global pandemic that the Orange Man made a mess of, resulting in the deaths of hundreds of thousands of his people. The new guy has to pick up the pieces and does a pretty good job of it, but he never receives much thanks for his efforts.
Rod, I know you’re wondering where I’m going with this, but just hang on, it gets better. Well, not really better, just crazier. The Orange Man manages to lie and con his way into winning the next presidential election and on day one, he pardons nearly 1,600 of the violent insurrectionists that stormed the parliament at the end of his first term. But now, oh boy, that Orange Man begins to take apart the nearly 250-year-old democracy, agency by agency. His promises of reducing prices falls flat as he imposes taxes on everything that comes in from outside the country and inflation begins to rise. Claiming non-existent crime waves, he then starts sending in National Guard troops to cities around the country and immigration police to find and deport anyone with other than white skin. Even citizens are being grabbed. He makes his political party pass draconian funding cuts to programs that support millions of his citizens: health care, food assistance, education and more.
When he tries to pass a cruel funding bill and his political opponents stand up and say: “No more!” a government shutdown ensues. Rod, can’t you just see the beautiful drawings of the opposition standing on the floor of parliament, refusing to vote for Orange Man’s funding bill? I think our readers will print these drawings and frame them for wall art even if the opposition in the story eventually folds.
“So, what happens next?” The people are now suffering from the shutdown and are watching millions of government workers who haven’t already been fired, furloughed or working without pay suffering like every other working person in the country. The tone-deaf Orange Man throws himself wild, lavish parties, plays golf and demolishes an historic building while people are starving.
Meanwhile, there’s an election day coming soon that will put hundreds of local elections on the ballot — governors, state legislative seats, local town councils, mayoral races, school boards and more. People have already been marching and protesting against the Orange Man and his reign of destruction and terror. The latest protest, called No Kings!, brought over seven million people into the streets for a joyful, nonviolent day of protest.
Are you still with me, Rod? “Yes, I’m here, but please finish it off.” OK, two weeks later the election takes place and what do you think happens, Rod? “All the people the Orange Man endorsed win the election?” Absolutely not, Rod! The opposition party wins everything, up and down the ballot even beyond what the polling predicted. Just imagine the graphics in our book — glorious, incandescent crowds of people cheering in the streets, showing they will not tolerate the Orange Man and his allies for one more second.
And then the Orange Man crawls back into his round gold-plated office and begins to cry at the sudden realization that his con job has finally failed. The people see exactly what he is — a cruel, empty, orange ball with legs.
So, what do you think, Rod? “Well, I think I’ve got the perfect graphic artist for you.”
Karen Gardner of Haydenville can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.