The recent passing of a local hero, peace activist Frances Crowe, made me think to myself, “What issue am I so passionate about that, like Frances, I would upend and so dedicate my life to?”
I realized quickly what the answer was: Acceptance of, and equal rights for, transgender people. After all, as a transgender woman, I certainly have vested interest in the issue.
Over the past four years, 13 years if you consider the date I first came out, I have upended my life by transitioning from male to female in my 50s. When I first started transitioning in early 2016, I was told by someone who had no grasp of what it meant to be transgender that I would lose far more than I’d ever gain.
I did lose some things and some people from my life, but what I have gained is exponential next to what I have lost. Sadly, not every transgender person has experienced the overall positive experiences I have had, as illustrated in a case to be heard by the U.S. Supreme Court next month.
The case centers on Aimee Stephens, a transgender woman who worked at a funeral home in Michigan who was fired under the guise of not following the business’s dress code. The defendant was dressed according to the dress code, just in female and not male attire.
Ms. Stephens had told the funeral home management that she was transgender, and while the clothing matched Aimee’s feeling of who she was, it did not match how her management viewed her — they only viewed her as man in woman’s clothing.
Sadly, many transgender people are misunderstood and frequently at risk of being viewed by the public as freaks. At no time is this harder than during the early period of physical transition to a new gender, but it is difficult even sometimes long afterward.
During transition, for which there is no set length of time, transgender people frequently turn to three things to make their outward appearance more congruent to their feelings about themselves: body-changing cross-gender hormones, surgery, and the simplest and most common thing, clothing.
Hormones take time to act on the body; the changes they make to the body are tantamount to experiencing puberty all over again, but in a new gender. Surgery as an option can be — if not covered by insurance — costly and not an immediate or always viable option for some trans people. Clothing changes, however, along with new hairstyles, makeup, etc., are instant, simple and relatively cheap.
For transgender people, transitioning can be extremely awkward, and make for odd appearances, but at the same time, it is incredibly exciting. For non-transgender people, the best way I can explain transitioning is by making a comparison to our teen years, which can be both incredibly scary and discouraging on one level, but exciting and exhilarating on another.
During transition, transgender people try to settle into a new life, building a new understanding of themselves and the world around them. The mannerisms, social cues and clothing choices that transgender people make are often misinterpreted or misunderstood during this period.
Sometimes the term cross-dressing is used to describe the dressing habits of transgender people. No doubt Aimee Stephen’s boss would consider such a term to describe her behavior, but the term cross-dressing is not appropriate. Transgender people choose to wear the clothing that matches their gender, not for some social advantage, not for some sexual thrill and generally not to make a spectacle of themselves.
Transgender people wear the clothing because, to them, it is appropriate to their gender view of themselves, which makes their clothing choice feel comfortable. The definition of “comfortable” in this instance is not quite the same as what we generally think of, even though the fabric of a garment, and its style, may indeed make it nice and soft and cozy.
To illustrate the point: As a trans woman, I find wearing pantyhose “comfortable,” yet I think most women, myself included, will generally agree that pantyhose are anything but comfortable.
When she was at work at the funeral home, Aimee Stephens was wearing clothing that made her comfortable, what made her feel like herself, but it was clothing that made her look professional, and there should be nothing wrong with that — nor with being a transgender woman. I hope and pray that the Supreme Court sees it that way, too.
Mariel Addis is a native of Florence. She left the area for 16 years but returned in 2013 and loves being back in the Valley.