I am horrified by this presidential race and worry about its impact on the values, beliefs, and behaviors of our children.
Composer Stephen Sondheim said it well:
“Careful the things you say
“Children will listen
“Careful the things you do
“Children will see
“And learn”
Children are not fully formed and therefore vulnerable to learning the dangerous lessons conveyed in this presidential campaign.
1. Knowledge is not a qualification to be president. I wonder how many young people are wondering why they need to learn about law, government, history, or basic geography, when one candidate running for president doesn’t know what Aleppo is, and another proclaims that military members and veterans with mental health issues are not “strong” and “can’t handle it.”
2. Style trumps substance. Anyone listening to the post-debate pundits quickly learns that winners and losers are judged by how many times they interrupt a candidate, the force of their accusations, body language, whether they smile or scowl. Substantive discussion of the issues rarely makes headlines. After the second debate, Donald Trump’s total ignorance about the humanitarian crisis in Syria largely went unnoticed, but his performance was judged a success because he was less reactive than in the first debate.
3. The rules are always different for women. In the vice-presidential debate, Mike Pence managed to avoid responding to any questions about his running mate, yet he was declared the winner, commended for his calm demeanor. When Hillary Clinton refused to dignify Trump’s blistering accusations in the second debate, her grace under fire was declared a weakness. She is criticized more for being too cold and disconnected then she is for her ideas or accomplishments.
4. The media can make or break a candidate. Trump was a money-making commodity for the media, especially for television, who gave him billions of dollars of free advertising. Had Bernie Sanders been given the same kind of free publicity, the outcome of the Democratic primary might have been different. Before his nomination, Trump’s entertainment value was highly prized by the media. Today, the media earns its bread and butter appealing to the chorus of consumers who eagerly wait for the next seedy chapter in his demise.
5. Apologizing is a weakness. Trump’s lame apology for being caught on camera exhorting his sexual prowess quickly morphed into an attack on former President Clinton’s evil deeds. Many of us spend years trying to teach our children to accept responsibility for their actions, while Trump believes money and power make him beyond reproach and equates apologies with weakness.
6. Bullies have status. The countless images of Trump imitating, dismissing, chastising, and lying about women, African Americans, Muslims, people with disabilities, immigrants, and countless others have sabotaged the efforts to create an anti-bullying culture in this country.
7. You don’t need to be accountable for your actions. Being “presidential” means being skilled at minimizing, blaming, denying, lying, threatening, and changing the subject. The truth is whatever you want it to be. When attacked, go on the offensive. Whether it’s sexual assault or not paying taxes, if you’re strong, you should be able to get away with anything.
8. The law doesn’t matter. The Central Park Five were exonerated based on DNA evidence, yet Trump proclaimed their guilt. He wants to violate the Constitution by denying Muslims the right to enter the U.S. He boasts that as president, he will jail Hillary Clinton. He will violate international law by bringing back waterboarding. He plans to bring back “stop and frisk,” in spite of the fact that it was declared unconstitutional.
9. Women exist to be exploited. Trump’s misogynistic behavior includes name-calling, voyeurism, sexual harassment, marital infidelity, incestuous talk, and sexual assault. He would rather tweet about Miss Universe than attend to the challenges of being president. While I abhor his attitudes and behaviors towards women, his racism and xenophobia are just as loathsome and dangerous. Republican lawmakers should have withdrawn their support long before they learned that Trump was a sexual predator.
10. Be afraid of those who are different from you. The politics of fear have been used in this election to turn Americans against each other and to isolate ourselves from the rest of the world. Divisiveness will not “make America great again.”
We must teach our children that democracy is fragile. Blindly following a charismatic “leader” can destroy our nation. It happened in Germany and it can happen again.
“Careful the spell you cast
“Not just on children
“Sometimes the spell may last
“Past what you can see
“And turn against you” (Sondheim)
The ultimate lesson I want the youth of the world to learn is that those who gain power by denigrating others ultimately lose. We have not given our children a better world. Let’s give them the guidance and resources to do better than we have done. Children need to be weaned on the milk of love, not money and power.
Sara Weinberger of Northampton is a professor emerita of social work and writes a monthly column.