Irving Berlin’s classic 1941 holiday tune “White Christmas” reminiscences about a perfect New England winter scene: sleigh bells, flurries, a fire in the hearth.
But for many, Christmastime isn’t necessarily merry and bright. Jay Johnson and Bill Hayes’s 1948 “Blue Christmas” attempted to capture this sentiment and immediately struck a chord, reaching the top of the charts shortly after it was released. (A decade or so later, “Blue Christmas” became cemented as a holiday classic when Elvis Presley made it his own).
While “White Christmas” paints a perfect holiday scene, “Blue Christmas” is about the pain of celebrating without a loved one — a pain that the Rev. Sarah Buteux, pastor at The First Churches in Northampton, well understands.
“It’s a time of year when you feel like you have to put your best face on things and you’re supposed to be happy. It’s all about love and peace and family and joy. But life is never really ever just one thing. Even in happy times there are sad things,” explained Buteux, standing next to the pews just inside the nave.
Everyone knows someone who is struggling, she continued. As a pastor, Buteux says she carries the pain of many people.
So each year, she leads a special interfaith “Blue Christmas” service around Winter Solstice, the longest day of the year, for those struggling with grief or pain during the holiday season.
Buteux started holding the service about a decade ago when she was a pastor at the First Congregational Church of Hadley, and carried it with her when she came to Northampton five years ago. Typically, she says it’s attended by both regular parishioners and others who come only for this particular service.
The service coincides with “Common Ground,” a monthly meal hosted by the church beforehand. Buteux stressed that it’s open to anyone who wants to come, not just those who identify as Christian. It’s a way to offer hope and help those who are struggling to realize they’re not alone in their pain.
“There’s some light you can only see in the darkness. Sometimes you have to hit bottom to find that light. But that light will meet you,” she said.
The service is a sacred space for people to acknowledge the pain they’re carrying without judgment, she explains.
“We start very dark. I give people the opportunity to light a candle and pray for the light to break through into some hard part of their lives. The more people who share about what they’re struggling with, the more candles are lit. By the end the whole room is lit up with candles,” she said. “The lighting of the candles sounds cliche, but it’s very powerful. It always blows me away.”
She clicked on a lighter and set flame to one of four advent candles in the front of the church.
In the Christian faith, Buteux says Christmas represents a time to remember when God came to earth, bringing light into darkness.
“We’ve made it into this really happy story. But if you actually step back and think, it’s about a young, unwed mother and this older man who has agreed to marry her so as not to bring shame or death upon her … There’s no room in the inn so she gives birth to a baby in a stable — this is a horrific story,” Buteux continued.
For Sheryl and David Holmes of Belchertown and their family, the holiday season will be especially challenging this year. Their 19 year-old son, Caleb Holmes, died in May from an accidental overdose.
This will be their first Christmas without him.
“In grief, one of my daughters said ‘no one wants Christmas this year, it’s too painful,’ ” Sheryl Holmes said. “Christmas time is especially difficult for us and other families who have lost loved ones because it’s generally a time when families gather together, (and our) loss is magnified. It’s made more obvious that ‘someone is missing.’ ”
In their pain, Holmes said she’s trying to stay focused on what Christmas signifies, and with it, the hope that she’ll see her son again someday.
“This year is definitely a blue Christmas for me, and yet I must stay focused on the reason we celebrate Christmas,” she said. “I can still say joy to the world and joy to my family, even in the midst of our terrible suffering and pain,” she said.
At its heart, Christmas has always been a holiday about finding hope in troubled times, Buteux says.
“This is a place for us to be together in the midst of what’s hard, because a lot of these things we can’t make better. If I could cure cancer, that’s all I’d do all day, but I can’t. We can’t always make it better. But we can be together in the midst of it, and let our neighbors know they’re not alone,” Buteux said.
Andy Castillo can be reached at acastillo@gazettenet.com.
“Blue Christmas” at The First Churches of Northampton, 129 Main St., will be held Dec. 20. A free dinner will be served at 6 p.m., with the service held soon after. For those who wish to volunteer, Buteux says to arrive at 5 p.m. to help make soup. For more information email
pastorsarah@firstchurches.org or visit firstchurches.org.
Elsewhere, First Church Amherst has a Longest Night Service at 7 p.m. on Friday, followed by carol singing around a bonfire. First Church Hadley will host a Blue Christmas service tonight, Dec. 18, at 7 p.m.