“It amazes me how many women have a mastectomy and have never held a breast form in their hand,” says Donna McNeight, co-owner of Gazebo Intimates in Northampton. In the dressing room, she slides open the closet door, where pink and tan boxes are stacked by size. She opens one and passes me a prosthesis. It is soft and light and my fingers cup it like they are holding something delicate, something precious.
I have not had a mastectomy, but a dear friend recently lost both breasts, and we’d had many conversations about what that might feel like. The loss would protect her life, but would she be able to hold it close, to grieve it and share it when and if she was ready? Or would people see what wasn’t there anymore and make their own meaning?
McNeight holds out her hand, returns the form to its place in the closet. “I never thought about my breasts at all, before,” she says. “At all.”
Ironically, if she hadn’t been diagnosed with breast cancer 14 years ago, McNeight never would have come across the store she now owns, one that celebrates women’s bodies. Since it opened its doors, Gazebo has been known for its inclusivity: All body types and sizes can shop for undergarments here. But she would learn that later. After managing a drug store through her diagnosis and treatment – while raising three children – McNeight found herself looking through Craigslist job postings. Wanted, one said, bra fitter at Gazebo.
She had worked in retail since high school in Chesterfield, but this, she says, “was completely out of my wheelhouse.” She was a quick study, joining the business in 2010 and taking it over six years later.
Gazebo’s founder, Judith Fine, started the company in 1978 and established a loyal following that even tually included post-mastectomy customers. For a while, Fine sent any cancer survivors to a nurse at a nearby business; then her husband was diagnosed with colon cancer. A seamstress who already designed her own lingerie, Fine decided to expand her reach. “I realized we do breasts, and I’m comfortable talking about cancer,” she explains. “It’s very sensitive, but it’s also incredibly rewarding to both the customer and the fitter to help a woman feel good about herself after she’s had life-altering surgery.”
McNeight has been on both sides of this dynamic. “I know it’s helpful when a woman loses her breast to be sitting across from a woman who has also lost her breast,” she says. She remembers how much it meant to her, during her chemotherapy and reconstruction surgery, when nurses would share they were survivors. Every time McNeight thought, And look at you, back to work. Your hair is back. You’re here.
According to the American Cancer Society, approximately 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer and more than 4 million are living with a diagnosis or have survived one. More than 6,700 women in Massachusetts have been diagnosed this year. McNeight says it is not uncommon for her to fit five post-mastectomy customers per day, and that Gazebo is one of two businesses in the state that offers post-mastectomy fittings in a non-medical setting.
The setting is important. Gazebo as a place is first and foremost, feminine. “I mean, you don’t want to go to a hardware store to buy your underwear,” McNeight says with a laugh.
“If you go into a medical supply store, that’s how you’re fitted, in a little closet with a port-a-potty,” says Fine.
Now that everyone’s comfortable, there are practical reasons for getting fitted. Losing a breast can affect balance and strain the back. Clothes fall differently. One’s whole body has to adjust.
Then there’s the fact that a cancer diagnosis is overwhelming enough. McNeight recognizes that ‘how do you want to replace your breast?’ isn’t an appealing question. Now a certified post-mastectomy fitter, she can walk women through their options. Will they have a double mastectomy? Have they had a lumpectomy and need a partial form? How heavy do they want the bra to be? How smooth? Do they just want a comfortable camisole to wear post-surgery? To start with, what do they need?
And finally, there’s the obvious: In a male-dominated, breast-obsessed society, breasts are not only conspicuous – they are on display. So is their absence.
“If a man were to lose his nose – and that’s not even a sexual part of the body, but it’s the only forward-facing part – he would want that replaced,” McNeight says. “He wouldn’t want to walk around without a nose. That’s the only thing I can think of for a man to understand how significant it is to lose a breast.”
More than 30,000 women have shopped at Gazebo in the past three decades, women who have told McNeight and her staff that Gazebo has redefined their relationship with their breasts. For someone who not long ago didn’t give hers a second thought, these testimonials mean everything.
Gazebo is open every day but Monday. For more information or to book a fitting, visit www.the-gazebo.com.
Melissa Karen Sances recently moved to Easthampton from Boston and looks forward to telling meaningful stories about her new home. Reach her at melissaksances@gmail.com.