Lately it seems like everywhere I look, everything I hear, and everything I read these days,  I am subjected to a never ending list of the joys and exaltations of the arrival of spring here in New England.

The words “Ahhh finally. Those short daylight hours, the bitter cold temperatures, the slippery and dangerous roads and sidewalks, have disappeared” are echoed in every corner of the Northeast. Not wanting to be left out, and desiring to add my mellifluous voice to the choir, I thought I’d try to add some syncopation — more accurately make that counterpoint — to the rendition of the song being vocalized these days. Let’s call it “The ‘Sweet’ Song of Spring?” The question mark is intentional.

It’s certainly understandable — or is it? — for people to quickly become weary of those bright, clear, crisp days of January with a soft layer of virgin snow on the ground just begging one to put on a pair of boots and take a walk in the woods looking for fresh footprints of wildlife. Alternatively. a person might wish to put on a pair of skis, snowshoes, or ice skates for some excitement. After all, who wouldn’t prefer to go traipsing through the ankle deep mud of April with showers and thunderstorms constantly threatening overhead? 

While checking out the flora (and fauna if you’re lucky) in January, I can only imagine the disappointment in the minds of springtime explorers in winter recognizing the absence of tics, mayflies, mosquitoes, and other “friendly” biting insects they face in April and May.
Let’s not forget the kids who naturally would prefer these pests to the tedium and boredom of sledding, tossing snowballs, building snowmen (oops I mean snowpeople), constructing snow forts and castles, and other such “tasks.” 

We should also take into account the significant increase in pollen and other allergens in spring (maybe that’s what’s meant by “spring fever”) when compared to the winter air which would make spring  a more comfortable environment in which to recreate than in winter. I mean wouldn’t it? Don’t forget the added smoke from those Canadian (and American) forest fires affecting the air quality.

Let’s change the venue for a moment and see how the scale tips when we look indoors.
Instead of relaxing by the fireplace or wood stove, while reading a book or taking a snooze as you might do in the winter, you have the “pleasure” of welcoming the various species of ants which have made their home throughout your kitchen during the spring. Maybe I shouldn’t be complaining so much, because I can get plenty of exercise chasing flies around the house. I can also use my intellect to get rid of wasp, bee, and yellowjacket nesting areas in my home, somewhere. The bats living in the attic are no problem, as long as they stay there.

Here’s something much more serious and disturbing. Spring lovers (Springers?) like to point out that nature is waking up and coming alive at the vernal equinox. I learned the following fact from a highly intelligent and respected source. It is counterintuitive, but true, that the statistics show a significant increase in depression rates during the spring season when compared to the other times of the year. I guess spring just ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I’d prefer not to end on that sad note. I’d like to pose a question. Why do the birds have to start singing their courting melodies before the sun even comes up in the spring? I’d like to get some sleep. Maybe the birdwatchers among us could let them know they’d have more fun later in the morning. Springtime is “for the birds.” 

To add insult to injury, daylight saving (not savings) time begins in March. We lose yet another hour of sleep unless you live in the Northern Mariana Islands, or in a few other places in the U.S. and its territories. We don’t get that hour back until November. The final plus for winter (and perhaps the most important) is that my birthday is in the middle of the season.

Jonathan Kahane lives in Westhampton.