This is Rod Serling calling, is that you, Karen? Yes, Rod, it’s me. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you, as I’m always the one calling you. What’s up?

Remember how I’ve told you in the past that I would no longer let your thoughts invade my brain? Yes, I do, Rod. Seems my thoughts and ideas were making you crazy and your brain was screaming out in pain. Is that right?

Absolutely, your mind is so full of insane thoughts about possible stories for my Twilight Zone TV show that surely would have gotten me kicked off the network forever. But I have to tell you, I’ve lately done something I never thought I would do. I let myself watch some shows being broadcast in your world and what I saw and heard is beyond possible.

I started out with shows similar to mine, but then let myself slip into watching news shows, at least that’s what they called themselves. So, I thought I’d give you a call and ask a few questions.

Rod, I’m at your service, ask away. OK, Karen, here it comes. I saw that your most recent ex-president was convicted of 34 felony counts in a New York City courtroom for attempting to conceal the falsification of business records to hide from the American electorate his payment of $130,000 to a porn star just before the 2016 presidential election. Can that be true?

Yes, Rod, it’s true. It seems that the former guy (now referred to as the Convicted Felon) feared he would lose that election if the story became public.

So, it’s real, your ex-president is a convicted felon? OK, but then I saw many of the former guy’s Republican allies, including the speaker of the House of Representatives, telling the TV cameras that this was a huge “deep state” conspiracy. They accused the current president and the U.S. Department of Justice of pulling illegal strings to cause not only the conviction, but the whole case being brought to trial. What do you say about that?

Well, Rod, yes, that’s what they’re saying. But they are lying as they all so often do. This was a case brought by the district attorney of Manhattan in the state of New York. The evidence he collected was enough to convince a grand jury of regular citizens, last year, to indict the former guy.

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Remember, this is not a federal case. Neither the DOJ nor the U.S. attorney general, nor the current president could have had any involvement in this case. It is a state case, period. But if you’re trying to convince the voting public that the former guy’s legitimate trial and conviction were rigged, then you tell lies about it hoping that people will start believing them.

And Rod, the former guy was convicted! But not by the judge in the case or the district attorney. He was convicted by a jury of 12 everyday people who were selected with input from both the prosecution and defense attorneys. These jurors were brave enough to allow themselves to be picked for jury duty, despite the threatening statements coming from the ex-president and his supporters.

And after hearing all the evidence presented to them over five weeks of testimony, they decided unanimously that he was guilty of every single felony charge, all 34 of them. Is that clear enough, Rod?

Right, I see, but the former guy, I mean the Convicted Felon, and his cronies are saying that the judge was conflicted somehow. I know, Rod, that’s what they keep stating, but there is no proof of that. The judge himself consulted with the N.Y. State Court System’s Advisory Committee on Judicial Ethics to ensure that he had no conflicts of interest. And besides, it was the jury who convicted the former guy, not the judge.

And Rod, no matter what the Convicted Felon and his buddies say, it’s done, and he will be sentenced on July 11 with the possibility of jail time. Imagine that?

But that’s not all, Rod. Some of the former guy’s other legal cases have ended in civil rulings against him. There’s the defamation case brought by a woman who accused him of raping her in a department store dressing room. That one cost him $83 million. And then there’s the civil case of business fraud in which he was found liable for conspiring to manipulate his net worth for financial gain, with a penalty of more than $450 million!

And Rod, listen to this. The judge in that last case said that the former president’s complete lack of contrition and remorse bordered on pathological.

After all this, my friend, have you any more questions?

I guess not, but this is the guy who is running even in polls with the current guy for the top job of your country? Yes, Rod. And that Convicted Felon might actually win the coming election. It is beyond my ability to understand how so many of my fellow citizens can believe that this pathological liar, shameless cheater, wannabe dictator, and now convicted felon, is fit for the job.

So, Rod, you’re right, my ideas for your show are too insane to use in your world, but clearly, not in mine. This can happen here.

Karen Gardner of Haydenville can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.