On March 1, the person once again impersonating the president signed an executive order declaring that English is the official language of the United States. The order stated, “A nationally designated language is at the core of a unified and cohesive society, and the United States is strengthened by a citizenry that can freely exchange ideas in one shared language.” Given that over 350 languages are spoken here, it is challenging to grasp the “free” part of the order.

Four factors are worth considering. First, it is clear that someone else composed the edict since the person who ordered it rarely speaks in complete sentences or uses words that make sense. Second, the United Kingdom does not have an official language. Yes, English is not an official language for the English. Third, in the 180 countries that have official national languages, most of them recognize multiple official languages. If the U.S. was similar, at the very least, Spanish would be another official language here.

The order is significant as it confirms our continued isolationist, xenophobic path. From a purely self-interested perspective in a global economy, it makes no sense to restrict one’s self to speaking and writing in just one language. Children in other countries are encouraged to learn two or three languages. When our minds open to other cultures and languages, we foster understanding and personal growth. Staying narrow serves no one.

Fourth, too many Americans mangle our new official language. My inner grammarian has a few things to convey. People cannot lay low. They can lie low. One can lay objects: I had to lie low for a while since she wanted to lay the items on the table without interference. Fewer should be used for multiple, countable items while less is used for a singular noun: There are fewer choices on this menu, and I was served less wine than last time.

It kills me (not literally, and I will get to that in a bit) when people say “ironically” when the intention is to note a coincidence. An irony is the exact opposite of what was expected, while a coincidence is an unexpected similarity: It seemed ironic that he went skeet shooting because he has always been an anti-gun guy. It was quite the coincidence that other neurodiverse thinkers attended the conference where she thought she would be the only one.

Basic noun-verb agreement refers to the fact that a singular noun requires a singular verb while a plural noun requires a plural verb. Most people get this. Why, then, do people say “There’s” when the verb is plural? Is it too much trouble to say “there are?” There are dogs walking down the street, and there’s a cat, too. The possessive (its) and the contraction (it’s): I like the car, but its bad brakes may mean that it’s time to look for a newer model. I am amazed by how many people get this wrong when it seems so obvious, but I also think tech’s “spell corrects” may be to blame.

Using who/whom vs. that is a bit more complicated. Who and whom always refer to people, while that may refer to objects or a team of people. Who is a subject pronoun while whom is an object pronoun: I know someone who can help. Whom you like is your choice. That applied to a group: This is the team that will win the championship. To a thing: You have the N95 mask that works best.

I gave up on awesome, and I no longer use it to describe an awe-inspiring sunset or full moon. It’s mangled beyond repair. Iconic and literally are next. If everything is iconic, is anything mediocre or simple? If many athletes are GOATs, is there room for the regular team player? Literally means actually, so I am not literally killed by improper grammar. Literally is misused so frequently that I think we should issue an edict to eliminate it from the English language. We can use actually in its place.

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The Oxford comma is optional, and I like it for clarity. It is the comma used before a conjunction (and/or) with three or more items on a list. In some cases, it helps to eliminate confusion: I wrote to my cousins, the Governor and the Senator. Are my cousins the Governor and the Senator? No. I should write: I wrote to my cousins, the Governor, and the Senator.

English may be our official language now, but it has everything to do with control and paranoia and little to do with applying it correctly. If Mr. Sentence Fragment in Chief had to take a test, the proper use of English would fail because he is never wrong.

J.M. Sorrell is a feminist at her core. She loved diagramming sentences in Catholic school.