A recent editorial cartoon in the Gazette depicted the “Woodstock 50th Reunion,” with degrading images of old men and women, some with walkers and canes, others in rocking chairs, and still others in sleeping bags on a grassy field, where a bottle of Milk of Magnesia and a set of teeth soaking in a glass lay nearby.
The cartoon was an insulting display of ageism, yet the people I showed it to didn’t seem to understand my indignation. Why is it always open season for taking cheap shots at old people?
Belittling elderly people is fodder for comedians like Trevor Noah, who on a recent episode of “The Daily Show” responded to Joe Biden’s troubling gaffes, commenting, “Mistakes like this don’t help the narrative that he’s too old to run. This sounds like a classic grandpa mistake.”
His comments echo a dangerous assumption that old people shouldn’t be president because of their vulnerability to dementia. It reminded me of the argument that a woman could never be president, because menstrual periods would impair her judgment. Presidential candidates should be judged by what they say and do, not by how old they are.
According to the Population Reference Bureau, the number of Americans age 65 and over is expected to increase from 52 million in 2018 to 95 million in 2060. Elderly people make up 16 percent of the U.S. population. They are more educated, financially better off, retire later and live longer than previous generations. Yet, older Americans are rendered invisible and irrelevant by a society that worships youth.
Corporations market products and procedures to keep us looking young, earning billions of dollars by keeping older adults insecure about their appearance. Women of any age are conditioned to aspire to air-brushed images of beauty emphasizing whiteness and thinness, yet as we age, disdain for our bodies grows.
We bemoan wrinkles, sagging breasts and bellies, and flabby arms. Although the message is “younger is better,” women are subjected to ridicule for wearing anything that’s revealing.
A 2017 study by Stacy Smith of the Media, Diversity, and Social Change Initiative at the University of Southern California, revealed the dearth of film characters over age 60. Roles for older adults rarely included characters who “drove the plot,” and films with older characters often contained ageist comments.
There has been a great deal of discussion regarding the lack of leading roles for people of color and women. This invisibility impacts older adults as well, reinforcing the message that we don’t matter.
Sex among older adults is viewed as disgusting. Rarely do we see films or television programs that show elderly people being sexual intimate. I applaud the efforts of my friend Jane Fleishman, who has become a recognized expert on sexuality and aging. Jane speaks to groups of older adults, and those who work with aging populations, challenging us to celebrate the fact that old people can and should have sex!
As an older adult, I have internalized values of an ageist society. I am secretly thrilled when I buy a bottle of wine at Whole Foods and the cashier asks to see my I.D. I avoid wearing short skirts and plunging necklines and worry that if I can’t quickly access a word, people will assume I am demented. I remain silent when wait staff or sales people refer to me as “sweetie” or “honey.”
Yet, a sharp contrast exists between socially constructed images of older adults and my own experiences as an almost 70-year-old woman. Retirement is an antiquated term that does not do justice to the people who are carving out meaningful experiences in this phase of their lives.
I am inspired by the older adults in my life who are embarking on new careers, returning to school, pursuing new interests, writing books, making music and art, being athletes, enriching lives through volunteering and challenging themselves to do what they didn’t think was possible.
I am also mindful of those whose choices are limited because they are dealing with serious illness or disabilities, caring for loved ones, struggling financially or coping with loss. Invisibility has resulted in a lack of critical services for elders that could improve the quality of their lives.
The Woodstock generation took to the streets to demand an end to the Vietnam War, racism and misogyny. Today, many of those folks are leading the charge against white supremacy, climate change, gun violence and other forms of oppression.
Their social justice work is predicated on the importance of being allies to those who have been oppressed, but elderly adults need allies too. Ageism creates divisions between old and young at a time when we should be standing together.
Let’s get beyond wrinkles and gray hair, and respect elderly people as relevant, productive and capable human beings. #CallOutAgeism!
Sara Weinberger of Easthampton is a professor emerita of social work and writes a monthly column. She can be reached at opinion@gazettenet.com.