Only Human with Joan Axelrod-Contrada: Ear candy better than real candy: Exploring ways to divert sugar cravings

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By JOAN AXELROD-CONTRADA

For the Gazette

Published: 10-11-2024 10:03 AM

My sweet tooth has a sensory cousin: ear candy.

And nothing tickles my ears when they’re screaming for delicious choruses and yummy hooks like the song “Sugar, Sugar” by The Archies, Billboard’s top hit of 1969. This feel-good alternative to songs of the day about crime, war, and depression gives us a quick helping of rock ‘n’ roll minus any hint of anger or angst.

In one of those weird instances of synchronicity, I heard this ode to my sweet tooth on the car radio the same day the AARP Bulletin arrived in my mailbox with an article about curbing sugar cravings. Talk about an ironic duet!

Just as some food purists demonize sugar as if it were a villain from a superhero movie, music critics have dismissed the ear candy of the late ‘60s as lightweight and throwaway bubblegum pop. Yet, “Sugar, Sugar” remains as catchy as ever, with a chorus that sticks in our heads like Bazooka affixed to the underside of a schoolkid’s desk.

Over 50 years after the release of this earworm sung by a fictional band on a Saturday-morning cartoon show, the song has become a staple not only of oldies stations but also of weddings and workout mixes.

Yup, we can sing along to “Sugar, Sugar,” while doing squats and planks to burn off last night’s indulgent dessert. It’s practically cosmic justice! We can savor that scrumptious vacation treat provided we’re prepared to exercise for roughly nine million times the duration it took to eat it.

Fortunately, the article I just read took a more understanding approach than the zero tolerance of hard-liners. Still, the piece starts with some tough love, laying out all the damage sugar can inflict. From cavities and weight gain to diabetes, heart disease, and stroke, sugar is like a health horror movie. It’s enough to make you consider living on a diet of cardboard just to avoid the sweet stuff.

So why do we keep adding it to our foods like it’s a VIP guest at a party?

Well, partly, because it triggers the release of feel-good hormones such as serotonin and dopamine, making us feel like we’ve just won the lottery of happiness. And, of course, stress, boredom, and fatigue often drive our cravings more than actual hunger. But fear not! There are practical strategies to help us resist the siren call of sugar.

■Start your day with a protein-packed breakfast. It’s like arming yourself with a sweet-craving shield. Protein provides energy and keeps blood sugar levels steady. Sugar and carbs, on the other hand, are like a roller coaster ride for your insulin, leading to more cravings for sweets.

■Get a good night’s sleep. It’s like the universe’s way of saying, “Sleep or be doomed to a life as a sugar-crazed zombie.”

■Identify your triggers. Are you reaching for the cookie jar because you’re feeling lonely, bored, or stressed? Maybe you just need a hug or a good book to distract you.

■Remove temptation. Try removing offending items altogether or relocating them to a less accessible location.

■Opt for smaller portions. If you can’t resist, at least go for a mini version.

■Practice mindfulness. Try counting to 25 or “urge surfing” to talk yourself through your cravings. Researchers say that cravings subside with time, so why not give it a shot?

■Distract yourself. Maybe a walk or dance around the kitchen to “Sugar, Sugar” will do the trick.

■Commit to a piecemeal plan. Try cutting out one sweet a month rather than trying to go cold turkey. It’s a little detox without the drama of a full-scale cleanse.

Of course, how we apply the advice of nutrition wizards to our own imperfect lives is the tricky part. If I’m craving something truly indulgent, an apple just won’t cut it. But, hey, I’ve mastered the art of compromise, so I’ll reach for a frozen yogurt bar instead of a hot fudge sundae. Instantly, I feel like I should be nominated for sainthood. Move over Mother Teresa.

Now, rather than sneak back to the freezer for round two, I’ve discovered the perfect distraction: I cue up the video for “Sugar, Sugar” on YouTube. Watching Archie visit Sabrina the Teenage Witch at the kissing booth, only to get turned into a frog, then a rabbit, is like getting a free trip to Neverland.

There’s nothing quite like a dose of bubblegum escapism to whisk away the sugar cravings and the day’s woes. Whether it’s retro pop or a guilty pleasure of your own, we can all find a way to sweeten life without diving face-first into the candy jar.

Joan Axelrod-Contrada is a writer who lives in Florence and is working on a collection of essays, “Rock On: A Baby Boomer’s Playlist for Life after Loss.” Reach her at joanaxelrodcontrada@gmail.com.