Is it true? I just read that a bunch of Republicans in Minnesota are trying to get Trump derangement syndrome (TDS) listed as a mental illness.

It’s the first mental illness that you can spread through social media. Don’t forget to wash your hands (and your brain) after exposure to the Trump flu. How do you know that you’ve caught it? There is a test but once you’ve caught it, you don’t believe the results unless you’ve see it on Fox News first.

Others symptoms include not being able to smell it when something stinks, suddenly wanting to protect the purity of woman’s sports and blaming everything bad on helpless immigrants, while selling worthless cryptocurrency for millions of dollars. If you see other sudden changes in behavior, like fighting with your friends and sucking up to your enemies, that’s a sure sign you’re sick and should see a doctor, if you can get an appointment. But I digress.

Sure, it seems crazy, but the truth is that TDS is not a hoax or fake news or a witch hunt — it’s a real thing, and we all know who “patient No. 1” was. He’s the Typhoid Mary of TDS. He infects others (49.8% of the people in the U.S. had it in 2024) but somehow he is never affected himself, even before the the Supreme Court gave him total immunity. Saved by God, no doubt. TDS was purposely leaked from a secret lab in Mara-logo (sic) and genetically altered to infect young white men in swing states.

There is a vaccine, but the MAGAs refuse to take it because the vaccine has computer chips in it that makes you vote for Democrats. The problem is that your insurance won’t cover it because in most people, susceptibility to TDS is a pre-existing condition going back to the founding of our once-great country.

The best way to avoid catching it is to maintain social distance from anyone wearing a red baseball cap or driving a Tess-la (sic). There’s no cure, but if you wait four years it will just go away, we hope.

Andy Morris-Friedman

Hadley